New Season, New Me?

The Carson Household

"Bye Alexia, see you later! Remember Brittany is coming over later to keep you company!" My Mom smiled before walking out the door.

I didn't even bother to get out of bed. She hasn't payed any attention to me since the new season started and it's really bothering me. I feel so lonely, and sad, I guess. I fell back asleep waiting for Brittany to comeover. 

I woke up to my alarm clock around 10:30am, the third of the five alarms I had set. I turned the alarm off and looked around my room. Nothing had changed in the three days I had been in bed. My fan continued to blow cold stale air in my direction, just hard enough to cause my hair to move. A heart shaped sandwich that Brittany had made me last week sat untouched on my dresser. It was staring back at me, almost begging me to get out of bed to eat it. However, I knew I wasn't getting up, not even if I wanted to.

Brittany made me go to the doctors with her a few days ago because she was concerned about my health. She promised me she wouldn't tell Mom since we really aren't on the best of terms right now. I just hope she wouldn't break her promise.

I had not been out of bed since I got back from the doctor's office. I thought about the appointment I had as I glanced at the pill bottle I was given, which still sat unopened next to my bed. I thought about the bandages on my wrists as the doctor talked with Brittany and I in her office. "Depression" is the only word I could hear before I tune the conversation out once again. I only remember feeling Brittany take my hand and squeezing it, telling me "everything is going to be okay".

As I was recalling these events I heard a knock at the door, it was Brittany. She entered the room with a kind of forced smile on her face and walked over to my bed and sat down. I saw that she too made a glance toward the untouched pill bottle, and reached for it. I knew what she wanted me to do, but I wanted no part of it. She extended her hand towards me with a pill clenched in an almost fist. I stared at her for a while and saw as her eyes were almost pleading with me to take the pill. I did not want to take it but I did, for the sake of her, and for the sake of her not telling my mother. I opened my mouth and pretended to swallow the pill with a swig of water, Brittany only stared at me with a smile. I chucked, as if she expected it would take effect instantly. But instead I took the pill in my hand and threw it in the trash when she wasn't looking. She gave me a hug and a smile and then left my room, closing the door carefully behind her. I didn't like lying to Britt, especially since she seems to be the only one to notice how I've been feeling, but if I fake taking the pills we will both get what we want. She is taking this all especially hard because she has seen how bad it could get. I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 11 am, I had been up for an hour and a half and I already needed a nap. So I grabbed my sheets and threw them over my head, as if I were trying to hide from reality, and went to sleep, praying that maybe when Mom came home she would give me some love and affection.