Holding A Heart

Chapter Two - The Phone Call

It was the phone call that changed everything.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lydia." Right there and then, I knew, I just knew there was something going on. There had to be, Harry never used my first name. It was always Babe, Baby, or Lyd (an odd, name that he came up with once. Now everyone calls me that). But never by my full name. There were only one or two times, and both times were serious.

Immediately, heart started to beat faster with worry. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, of course. I just. I need to talk to you, and it's real important. Can I come over, please?" he said. It sounded as if he was crying. Or had been. It had goosebumps running all over my body.

When I heard the doorbell ring, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could. "Harry," I have him a half grin. His eyes were red and puffy and his hair had looked like he ran his hands threw it numerous times. I guess he had been crying. So I took his hand and squeezed it hard. 

He bit on his bottom lip, and closed his eyes shut. "Can we go up to your room?"

"Yeah, Hon. Sure." I kissed his cheek and looked into his eyes, trying to see if I could read what was going on. He just kissed me back and walked up to my room. I followed and sat down next to him on the bed. "Do you want to tell me what's going on now?"

He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but thought it through. "Lydia," tears began to well. "I-I-I'm auditioning for the X-Factor .."

I thought he was crazy, he must've been. "What? Baby, that's..That's amazing! Why are you so sad about this? You're going to be famous!"

"That's just it, I can't leave you Lyd, I can't do it." Tears streamed down his face as his dazzling green eyes stared longingly in mine. "I'm not going to leave you, I can't."

I sigh. "I'm not letting you get stuck here, not because of me. I'm not going to let you keep working at that bakery for your whole life. Harry, you have a talent, an amazing talent. And to get there, you need to go. You need to go have these experiences."

He starts to cry hysterically now, squeezing his eyes shut, holding on to my hands for dear life. I couldn't let him not go. It would make me a terrible girlfriend. Plus, he was going to make it big. He had the voice of an angel and he was going to go, even if we both liked it or not. "This means we have to .. to be apart. Is that what you want?" He tells me in almost a whisper.

"I want to be with you so bad, Harry. I thought we were forever. But it will kill me," I stroke his cheek, wiping a tear away with my thumb. "It will kill me to know that you'll be stuck here because of me. I can't let you, and I won't let you do that to yourself."

He sighs. "Then come with me."

I pause. "Do you love me?" I don't look at him when I say this.

Harry brings my forehead to his and lightly brushes his lips against mine, I can feel his eyes on me. "More than my own life."

"Then go. Go for me." I rest my hands on the back of his neck. "Go, make it big. I know you can do it. I've heard you sing."

He rests his lips on my shoulder, and I could feel him smile half heartedly. "You really think so?"

"I know so." I kiss his neck, lightly. "When do you have to leave?"

I feel the wetness start to form down my back from his tears. "Tomorrow. God, I don't want to leave you. I'll miss you so much." Harry rests his hands on my waist and pulls me closer so that we're hugging now.

"Look at me," He pulls away and stares into my eyes, ready to listen to what i have to say. "You're going to go to that audition, and you're going to make it. Even if you don't win, you'll be my winner, okay? And if we won't be able to see each other all the time, I guess. I guess that's why we should just .. end it all here."

His eyes widen, as if i just said something horrible. "What, no, please, Lydia, please, don't."

I start to cry hard. Harry is crying into my stomach now, and he's crying so hard, I start to bawl like a baby. "No, Harry. I know, we've been through everything-"

"We've had so many good times, every time with you is memorable, Lyd. And to throw four years of what we had away just because I'm going to an audition that I might not even make? That's shit. I'm not going to lose you, I won't lose you."

I shake my head. "Four of the best years of my life," I take him, and cup his face in my hands. "So, to you, I thank for that. For being my very first kiss. For being my very first hand to hold," I shut my eyes and let the tears come out as I start to speak again. "For being my first. But, thank you most of all being my very best friend. I could be my total complete self with you. Harry, you're going to make that audition, alright? Stop with the negativity."

He scoffs. "Me? Negativity? You just said you wanted to break up with me." He falls back onto the bed, gazing at my bedroom ceiling.

"I never, ever said I wanted to break up with you, and I never, ever want to. I just think because you'll be away for so long, It might be the best. You know, for you."

"What's best for me is what's best for you."

I hold his hand. "Exactly."

He sighs. "Can you please just hold me."

So I scoot closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. Harry turns to me and puts his hand on my waist, pulling me closer and entwining our legs. His other hand is playing with my hair. Staring at him, I don't want him to go. I want to tell him, "On second thought, you should just stay here with me. Because I'm selfish, and I need you to stay here with me."

Now we're just holding each other as if it's our last day. Ha, what a pun. 

Harry finally manages to say, "This is dangerous you know."

"What? That we've been like this for an hour now?"

"No," he smiles. He finally smiles and I kiss him. I give him a passionate, romantic, seducing kiss.

Our foreheads rest on the other's and we're breathing heavily. "You and me. Our love. It's like .. and adrenaline rush. The best one I've ever felt."

I laugh.

"I love you Lydia."

"I love you too, Harry."

"Forever," he whispers and kisses the top of my forehead.

We kiss again and I don't remember when, but my eyes flutter and finally close.

My memory of being with him was how he was holding me.