Emotion

The First Day

Jake forcefully pulled himself out of his bed, still suffering from a lousy night sleep he dragged himself into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror studying himself, he half heartedly combed his unkempt brown hair into something half way acceptable. He walked through his trailer, a dim , old pile of crap his mom dragged him to. He had recently moved after being in the same school district for 8 years. His mother had recently decided to move after the death of their family friend Anna.
The thought of his first day of high school became hard to bear, a knot in his stomach formed as he threw on his Green Day T-Shirt and cheap ass Wal Mart jeans. He sat back on his bed briefly and studied the wall, nearly zoning out before it hit him, the anxiety has gotten the best of him again. He had to throw up. He ran to the bathroom barely holding it in, he barely got to lift the toilet seat for vomit erupted from his mouth, he crouched over, clutching the toilet in tears. He had never been a fan of school but why is this so hard for him? Suddenly he heard a knock at the door.
"Hurry the fuck up, I've got a fucking headache and need some Tylenol"
It was Jeff, Jeff Cilley. His moms new boyfriend, with emphasis on the word "boy". Jake new from day one, Jeff is nothing but a piece of shit drunk.
Jake fumbled out of the bathroom, nauseated and in no mood to deal with Jeff. Jake walked by him without saying a word. Jeff grabbed his arm.
"What the fuck is your problem"
"Nothing" Jake murmured.
Jake just continued walking away. He knew his mom would be awake soon and just didn't want the drama. He walked outside and sat at the end of the driveway, waiting for the bus.
The bus arrived and with a sigh, Jake walked on to the bus, he studied the students, divided up like wannabe gangs. He walked a few seats in and sat at the first empty seat he found, laying his head back in apparent exhaustion.
"Fuck my life" he whispered to himself.
Luckily the drive was only about 5 minutes. He got out of the bus and immediately noticed a dirty needle poorly hidden by the sewer. Shaking his head he continued to walk into the school, he was instantly greeted by sports posters. Big gaudy, obnoxious posters boasting of the sports teams. He walked straight towards the office to collect his schedule. There he was greeted by a older gentleman with long hair and a poorly groomed mustache.
"Hi, are you Jake? I'm the principal Mr.Woody"
"Hi" Jake politely replied, acting enthusiastic "I need my schedule"
"Of course"
Mr. Woody directed him towards a folder, Jake took it and before they exchanged another word, walked out.
He looked at his schedule, first period, Reading. What a way to start the day, staring at a god damn book. Jake walked into the library to grab a book before his class started. He studied the library briefly. Looking up and down the isles to find something he would enjoy. Alls he could find was Judy Bloom and Gary Paulsen.
Jake was growing annoyed having read that stuff in elementary school. He was putting the pieces together. It's a sport team school. They don't care about academics or anything...great.
Jake walked to his classroom and sat down, already unamused he knew it was going to be a crappy day.
The bell had rung and about 5 minutes later the teacher decided to come in. Her name, Ms.Tarr. She was short and heavy set. She walked in and her only words were "Start reading". Jake, being curious, studied the classroom, and as he thought, the intelligence of this school is laughable, all the kids reading their Judy Bloom. High school kids reading elementary level books.
Second period was no different, High School Math at Noble High School? Mad minutes and PEMDAS. Jake never fancied himself as a genius but he had just last year he was doing Chemistry and Algebra, now the standard program is stuff he did in Elementary.
This seemed to be the pattern for the day as the most difficult class had been gym, finally at 2:30 the bell rang and Jake could not have been more relieved to leave, until it sunk in with him that he's now going home.
He walked out where his mom was waiting with her car to pick him up. Jake climbed into the car and she drove off. Jake was zoning , staring out the window. His mom began to make small talk.
"How was your day"
Jake looked at her, before looking back out the window.
"Are you going to talk" she asked, going from a semi quiet voice to instantly irritable.
"I don't want to" Jake quietly replied.
His mom, almost instantly changing faces, from a calm face to enraged.
"Why won't you talk, you're not suffering, this is about me!"
Jake scrunched his face, a typical reaction from his mother. No matter what it had always been about her. When Anna had died, Jake had attempted suicide only for his mother to say it was for attention when in fact she had told him she was going to kill herself in front of him, so he could be as hurt as she was.
Jake continued to ponder all his thoughts. He always did this to himself, his own mind, is and always has been his worst enemy.
"What the fuck!" His mom erupted breaking his concentration.
"I'm sorry" he quietly said.
The rest of the ride was pretty quiet, they arrived home where Jake got out and announced he was going for a walk. His mom gave him a glare, she didn't care, she was still upset from her lack of attention she received.
"Get back before dinner" she snarled.
Jake walked casually down the street, hands in pockets, walking studying his new town. He walked by a church and noticed a little antique shop. He walked in. Jake has always been a history buff and loved antiques. He stopped to look at the array of tin toys, stained glass and primitive tools. Something that had always fascinated him.
He walked out and into the parking lot where some kids about his age were smoking. They noticed him
"Hey new kid" the tall one yelled
"Yeah?" Jake walked closer
"You smoke?" One kid asked, offering him a cigarette.
"Nah man, I'm good" Jake replied.
"What do you do?" The same kid who offered the cigarette asked.
"What do you mean?" Jake asked.
"You snort? Blaze?" The kid asked
"Hell no! Jake exclaimed.
"So you a jock?"
Jake somewhat annoyed now replied "No man, is that all this town is, fucking jocks and junkies?"
That irritated the kid "What the fuck did you call me, smart ass dip shit"
"I asked a question dude, never mind!" Jake said, baffled and annoyed. Jake turned to walk away as he heard the tall kid yell to the other kid. "Get that fuck"
Jake turned as the kid sucker punched him, it caught him by surprise but he was able to catch himself. Jake lunged at the kid who hit him and quickly took him down. Jake wrestled him into submission but it wasn't long before the other three kids jumped in. The tall kid began to kick Jake in the back of the head, causing him to lose his grip. All four kids began kicking, punching, scratching. Any cheap move they could think of. Jake desperately threw a few punches and knocked one kid back, but it was just to much. He cradled his face with his arms as he felt kick after kick, punch after punch driving into his ribs and back. It seemed like it was going on for hours. Finally the kids let up. The tall kid looked down and cockily exclaimed "Welcome to our town bitch, you can't even fight you fucking pussy"
Jake lay there motionless, pained, as the kids finally walked away he almost began to cry.
He managed to pull himself together and sit up, he wiped his hair and realized he was bleeding. Jake laid back, his head against the brick wall. Upset, feeling powerless and angry. He got up to walk home.