🕷 Step Into My Parlour Reviews 🕷 [CLOSED]

🕷How This Works🕷

I'm glad to see that you didn't get caught in any stray webbing on the way here (sort of). Now we can get to all the good stuff. I made this book because I've noticed (like many of my fellow writers) that a lot of us desire feedback that most of us can't get unless we ask. Some people make it seem like we're asking them to rob a bank or something. Then there are simply those who don't know how to give the feedback being requested of them. They just want to read your book and be done with it! Honestly, we've all been there (I know I have). 

But not today, Satan.

I'm going to give you a constructive review meant to make you stronger as a writer, and better prepared to swat away all those internet trolls and haters. You know, the ones that have nothing better to do than tear down all your hard work? Yeah, you can send them over here and I'll find them a nice, silky web to spend the rest of eternity in ( LOLJK, The average lifespans of most spiders is 2-3 years). But seriously, I'm here to help and I genuinely care about your stories. 

How can I care about a story I haven't begun to read yet? Simple. Writing is no easy feat and the amount of passion that goes into our work is incomprehensible. I mean, we're pretty much masochists. We tear our work to shreds and rewrite it over and over again to the point of exhaustion until it's exactly how we want it. We're perfectionists at heart. That's why I'm going to critique your stories with the same amount of effort I'd love someone to critique mine.

Remember, there is no such thing as perfect. Any and everything can improve. ~

Now onto the styling process!

Cover  /10: Does your cover intrigue me enough to make me want to read your story? Are the words legible, or do I have to squint at my screen like I need prescription glasses? Is it too convoluted with characters, designs, or objects? Does it have anything to do with the story?

Title  /10: Is the title one I've seen a hundred times? Anything with Hybrid, Bad Boy, or Alpha is going to make me string myself up in a web unless there's an amazing twist. Is the title too long? Does it catch the eye? 

Blurb  /10: Was the entire plot revealed in the description (I'm so guilty of this)? Does it draw me in as a reader? Is it comprehensible (few/no typos or grammatical errors)?  

  Characters  /10:  Are your characters believable? Do they have consistent personalities? Do they feel stiff and forced? How do they influence the story? 

Point of View  /10:  I abhor POV. It's my worst nightmare because it's so easy to switch from past tense to present tense or go from first person to third person with a single word. I struggle with this the most in my writing but I pick it up so well in others' (Idon'tknowwhyimweirdlikethat).

Dialogue  /10: Does the dialogue flow well, or is it staggered and hard to read (abrupt stops, misplaced commas and periods)? Does each character have their own distinct voice (can I easily tell who's speaking)? 

Descriptions  /10: Can I imagine the characters and their environment? What about their mannerisms? The tone of their voices, or what they're wearing? Are the descriptions too long, or too vague? 

Plot  /10: How effectively is the plot being pushed? Is there a clear-cut goal, or problem at hand that's driving the characters? There's a constant battle of tug-of-war between characters and conflict that progresses the plot of a story. There has to be a healthy balance or the main plot fades into the background and too many sub-plots appear.

🕷️ If something can be removed from your story and it doesn't alter it in any way then it doesn't need to be there. That's the greatest piece of advice I've ever gotten from another writer and it's true. Every character, dialogue, description, is to further the progression of a story. 🕷️

Grammar  /10: Are punctuation marks properly placed? Was there any run-on or fragmented sentences? 

🕷️ FULL ON DISCLAIMER: I am not an editor by any means. My grammar could use some work too, but I do know a little something. I'll help where I can." 🕷️

Spelling  /10: Are any words spelled incorrectly?

See? It's that simple. If you're still interested, have a seat in my chair so that I can explain the rules to you with this glistening straight razor - I mean smile. :)