𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 { 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 | 𝟏 }

Chapter 12:The second choice

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

You want her, you need her, and I'll never be her

Gnash and Olivia O'brien (I hate u, i love u)

✧✦✧

Kora pov

I had free period before lunch, so I went over to the roof. Ever since I saw Valkiria and Shanks happily talking this morning, I keep seeing them hanging out with each other, becoming really close. It just put me into a bad mood for the rest of the day.

'Well then again, me and him don't exactly have a whole heap of classes together, but jesus fuck, I'm his only female friend. I know that I can't tell him who he can be friends with, it still pisses me off seeing him with other girls.'

But what made me even more paranoid, was my following thought.

'What if...he thinks she's better than me? I mean, she does take all those really nerdy subjects, and she's super outgoing...am I a bad influence to him? He's always been a real smarty pants...maybe he's better off with her.'

I could hear laughing. From where I sat on the roof, I could see Valkiria and Shanks's PE studies class, laughing their ass off. I glared down at them, my nails digging into my palms. "Of course...they always go for the bright and bubbly ones." I growl, grabbing out another cigarette, and lighting it. I blew out some smoke, and watched it waft off into the wind. "Yet again....I'm only his second choice." I sigh.

I heard the roof to the door open. "There you are." I look, and see Thatch, his hands in his pockets. "Looking for me?" I smirk. "Marco and Ace don't have free right now, so I'm alone." He said, sitting down next to me. He looked at me, "How do you even manage to sneak those cigs into school?" He asked. I shrug, "I just keep them on me." I saw him eyeing up my packet, "What, do you want one?" I asked. "Nah, got my own." He replied.

I went back to leaning against the fence, more smoke dancing in the wind. I was still glaring at Shanks and Valkiria, who appeared to be talking about god knows what. I didn't even realise that Thatch was looking at me until he said.

"What are you grumpy about this time?" He asked. "Nothing." I lied. "You sure?" He asked. "Mmmhmmm." I hummed. "Positive?" "Yup." "I dunno about that." He said. "I'm fine Thatch." I assured. "Then why do you look angry?" He asked. "Resting bitch face." I replied. "Kora you're upset about something." "No I'm not!" I growled. "Then why do you keep looking at Shanks?" He asked. My tongue fell short, and I didn't reply.

'Fuck you for knowing.'

"Why do you care?" I huff. "Because Shanks is flirting with Valkiria." I could feel my annoyance growing by the second. What the hell is so damn special about her?! Am I not good enough? "I mean ever since Shanks has started, so many girls are already hot in his trail." Thatch adds, "I think Valkiria might be one-" "I get it, Valkiria is amazing, and she's the best, and she is everything." I growl. "What is your problem?" He asked aggressively. I gave him a sharp look, "Try being in my shoes for once. Try being the second choice. Try being the one that they'll keep to the side 'just in case'."

'Wow great job, you blew up partially at Thatch. Do you want a fucking gold star with that, you wholesome fuck up?' I thought bitterly.

I stared down at my lap, the guilt silently sinking in. "Look....I get it." He said, "I'm always the second choice. In the past with all the girls that Ace and Marco have had flings with, they always friendzone me." My ears perked up, "A lot of girls kinda just use me to be friends with those two, which I get...after all girls are only ever into boys like them, right?" He asked. The guilt pretty much drowned me. I didn't want to look at him. I knew if I did, I'd feel even more guilty.

"Kora," he starts, "it's tough. We both have someone we really care about. But if we're gonna be married for a couple of years, and still be friends, then we need to help each other out here." He said. "What do you propose?" I asked, finally looking at him. "I dunno..." He said, sounding tired, "maybe just...try and make them fall for us?" He asked. "And how are we gonna do that, you related to Aphrodite?" I huff, placing the cig between my lips. "You be friends with Val, and like convince her or something that I'm pretty great?"

I couldn't help but laugh. My stomach was already hurting, and tears were forming. "Oh god! Oh my god I'm sorry but..." I laughed even harder, my stomach hurting, "Ow my belly...!" I giggled. He gave me a soft glare, "What?" He demanded. "It's just..." I wheezed, "it's just how your phrased it...." I snorted, " "I'm pretty great'? Ahhhh you're funny." I chuckled. "But I am great." He huffed. I smirked at him, "Yeah, but not as great as me, the Shogun." 

An anger mark appeared on the side of his head, "You're the last person who gets to be a military dictator over this damn country." He grumbled. I raised my eyebrows, "You sure you wanna be slinging those useless words at me?" I challenged. "Pfft. You're not even worth the challenge." "Careful man, don't wanna pull a hammie from back-pedalling there." Another anger mark appeared, "Look are we gonna help each other or not?" I blew out some smoke, "Fine."