i wish i could hold your hand... but i know it will never happen. you are walking so fast, please slow down, i can't catch up. a poor mortal can never be able to walk alongside an angel. you are the angel and i am the mortal, you are my angel. when i finally catch up to you, i will hold you so tight that you cannot run away anymore. the warmth of your hand is what makes me feel at home.
please let me stay with you. i cherish every moment i have with you and i want so much more with you in time to come. but it's probably not going to happen. i have missed you too much and it feels as though my heart would crumble any time now, when you are not with me by my side. a heart as fragile as a sheet of paper, easily torn into pieces. and i won't know which piece to follow, it would take too long for me to gather every piece back again too...
yet this fightful spirit of mine holds on, leaping at every chance i get to love you. and when i do, it is with the most passion one could ever get, one that overwhelms you.
i'm slowly losing my mind...
when will i ever be able to look you in the eye and say "i love you"?
every night, i sit on the cold linoleum floor thinking, "is this the day i die?" yet i wake up every morning, as though the devil has turned me away from the gates of hell once again.
it feels as though no one can ever understand me, the cause of my torment, a crazy storm blowing through the seven seas in me.
you are my everything. the source of my joy, my laughter, and my smiles. but with joy comes sorrow, and you're the cause of that too.
whenever i look you in the eye
i break
all
over
again
was this what it really meant? was all of this just a figment of my imagination? a blank canvas painted over with my wild thoughts that were never meant to happen in real life? am i really destined to just walk behind you my entire life, never to be able to walk alongside you? what did i do to deserve this?
i want to forget everything, but forgetting is impossible. it simply is too much, and to forget means to clear out so much that i am left with large memory blocks in my mind. and that, i cannot do. that, i cannot bear to do.
