Foxtails

Blizzard

Drifting in and out of consciousness...
Everything is hazy... one moment I'm standing with Phoenix... next I'm being rushed down the corridors... going left then right then left again... then black...

In a room... tied down... I can't move... I struggle but to no avail... then a girl walks in... He looks familiar... so familiar... Calli... she looks at my in pity... I can see it in her eyes... She's never normally like this... what's wr-wrong... black again

I feel the consciousness come back to me as I see Calli holding me against the wall. Behind her there are some big ice spears sticking out the wall. Claw marks on the ground... and white hair...

I just hug her, not ready to say anything else... not wanting to say anything else... tears fall down my face... me sobbing onto her arm.

"It'll be alright, I promise. But why didn't you tell Phoenix your name?"Calli asks holding me tightly... I just sob and shake my head...

"I d-don't like that name... it hurts... some of the time... it makes me s-so un-uncomfortable... I'm sorry..." I manage to blurt out...

She hugs me tightly. "Why don't we go somewhere less messy. Hu?

I nod... to shaken to do anything else. She takes me by the hand and leads me to another room... I recognize it... it's the room Calli is in when I facetime her... is this her room? And this tower? What's happening?

I sit and apologized over and over to Calli... for something I don't even know why?

Calli starts to calm me down, finally it works, I can finally breathe and make a proper sentence. I lie on his bed while I try and answer some questions. The questions are easy ones to make sure I'm alright. Then the question I knew was coming...

"Can I ask why you didn't tell Phoenix your name? Why did you feel uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. I just feel like its not me. Sometimes it hurts like I'm being hit with hammer or like I've just been stabbed... other times it's fine, I'd happily go by that name. It's weird, it's like when the name hurts I hate my body, my breasts, my clothes, my makeup. I feel like I shouldn't be in my body, like I should be a boy...? I guess..? But other times I feel amazing in my body, and I love my breasts and my makeup and clothes. Like I'm meant to be in my body. But then I sometimes feel like I shouldn't be either boy or girl, but then again sometimes I feel like both... I probably sound crazy... I don't know how to put it into words but that's the best I could I think of.." lying on the bed, I bring my hand up to brush my hair off my face. But it's paler than usual like super pale... I don't say anything though.

Calli just lies beside me and hugs me so tight. "I know you probably don't care about this stuff right now, with everything that's going on. So you know how I'm pansexual which means I'm attracted to anyone regardless of gender. I think you might come under a branch of the transgender umbrella. Somewhere in the non-binary section, which means you don't fall into the gender binary of male or female."

"Yeah... I knew you were pan. I don't know right now about gender binary and stuff I just want to know WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THAT ROOM!!!!" "I was kidnapped and put in a room, I killed two people... and almost hurt more... Just tell me what the hell is happening right now..."

Calli just sighed, and hugged me tighter. "We don't know, we need to keep you here until we know. But I'll be here the whole time." Kissing me she got up and got her phone. She started texting someone.

I fell asleep exhausted...