The Butterfly Effect

How It All Started

"Come on man, lighten up"- Jungkook said as he grabbed my shoulder.
I brush his hand off of my body, giving him a cold stare. What does he know? He's just a young, dumb, stupid teenager, whose clearly never been broken, not like this at least.
Who is he to tell me how to feel?
''Lighten up''-I chuckled underneath my breath. I repeat his words in disbelief with a smug smirk on my face.
" Do you really think you're helping right now? "
I say while the smirk fades from my expression.
" I'm just trying to help,for gods sake its been almost 5 months since he fucking dumped your sorry ass. "
I get up from my seat while clenching my right fist and pushing his chest with the other.
" What the fuck did you just say to me? " My jaw starts to tense.
" Yeah,you heard me.If anything he did you a favor! " -He pushes back.
" You don't deserve to be with anyone, you're gonna die alone with everybody hating you in the end, just like your father." -He steps back with the realization of what he just said.
"H-hey hyung I didn't mean t-to take it that fa--"-He tries to apologize, but I stop his sorry ass from saying more with a strong punch to his right cheek. Making him stumble a few steps back and trip over the Bas Guitar cord and fall straight to the floor, his elbows hitting the wodden floor first.

Taken back by my actions he's in a loss of words.
I kick him in the stomach making him curl up into a ball with his breathing getting harder, I do it once more.
I get on my knee and grab his collar to pull him back up.

I push him against the wall and punch him in the stomach three more times.

My hands travel to his shoulders grabing him and throwing him to the floor with his head hitting it first this time. Leaving him unconscionis.(hopefully)
I take a step back and look around the room with anger raging through my system. I throw a punch at the wall which leaves my knuckels covered in my own blood aswell now. I take the cigarettes and the lighter from the coffe table and rush out of the house, slamming the door shut not bothering that its almost one in the morning and that people are asleep.

I brush my hands through my hair, pulling it back in frustation.
My body rushes through the dark, empty streets with my footsteps echoing from how hard I'm hiting the cold concrete.

What in the world just happened?
I bury my face in my hands, trying to pull my self together.
"ARGHHHH!!!" -I scream,making the two people across the street flinch in confusion and then fasten their walking in fear.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT??!!"- I scream again with my hands in the air showing "confusion" I turn my body and follow their pace, but they just start running.
"Hmph." -I chuckle to myself.
That's what I thought.

They're probably some dumb stupid addicts anyway.
I go to the nearest open shop and buy a bottle of beer.
The cashier looked at me weird, probably because my hands were covered in blood. But I dont really seem to care of her opinion.

I finally start to feel more calm, which gives me an opporitunity to think of what I have just done.

Jungkook knows how I feel when someone mentions my father, he knows how much I've been hurt by so many people. He knows that getting over my ex was not easy for me...It still isn't.
He knows that I blame myself for everything that had happened.
I am now aware of every mistake I have made, but it seems to be too late.
I guess It's just my thing to ruin everything that I care about, It would be so much easier for everyone if I wasn't here, It would be so much better if I made better choices.
Everything would have been different.

With Million thoughts going through my mind I stroll of the side walk to an empty highway.
I stumble upon my own feet from the drinks I had before, with that, my beer falls out of my hand and the glass bottle breaks.
Of course, like Always I'm the one breaking and ruining everything.
Would everything change if I had made different choiches, If I had met different people, If I had never met him?

I put my hands in my pockets and shrug my shoulders.

"I WISH FOR EVERYTHING TO CHANGE!!" - I scream into the starless sky. "I WISH TO BE A BETTER PERSON!" -My voice breakes.
" I wish to get...another chance.."
I say with tears streaming down my face.

Would I have changed If I'd taken a different path?

Was the last thought that went through my mind before I turned around to see a car coming at me.
Two strong lights blinded my sight.

And everything slowed down,as if I had all the time in the world.

I felt empty

My heart stoped beating

My limbs felt numb.

And my mind was void.

My legs felt like they were not touching the ground anymore and everything went blank.

And it just felt like I was....

Dead.