Falling

It taunted me so much I couldn't ignore it anymore. It was as if the world was taking an eraser, handing it to me, and asking me to start erasing this fragile sketch of myself Life had just begun. Little did the world know, my hand had been slowly reaching up, longing itching up my arm. I wanted to disappear, I truly did. But of course, there'd always be that one person who'd yank the eraser away. He was one of those people. Except he threw it into the trash as well...

His name is Cairo. Yes, like Cairo, Egypt. And honey, let me tell you, damn his looks were perfection. Think of the prettiest thing you can even imagine. Then multiply that times the biggest number you can think of. That his him, plus maybe a little more. And he saved me, he reached out his hand, and I could feel his fingertips brushing mine- the school bell rang and I leapt out of my daydream, still longing for that island of safety, so far away. Rushing out of calculus, someone's hand brushed against mine, and a shiver ran down my spine slowly, and time seemed to stop. I was drawn back into the daydream, but this time it was as if I'd been placed in as part of a collage. I couldn't recall the dream anymore, so I rushed, swearing, to my locker. If only that island had been closer. Maybe I'd remember.

My best friend, Sheila, rushed past me, screams bouncing from her lips. I could feel the way the air around her tensed and moved out of the way as she ran, just like the student body. I sighed, feeling it was my duty to check on her. I grabbed my bag and rushed after her, collecting more strange stares to my gallery of the day. It seemed as if that was the only way people could see me. A strange person who has a huge crush on an already taken boy. Of course, I do believe you may wonder who exactly has stolen my crush? Well, the one and only, Sheila. She knew about my crush, but refused to leave him, breaking just the simple idea of girl code. No not breaking. Completely erasing any trace of it...

Since Sheila and C started to date, I'd attempted to set my sights on another person. The thing is, not a lot of people want to kiss you, and run their arms down your wrists, expecting smooth skin. What greets them is skin that metal and depression had completely and utterly RUINED. Most people ran away screaming. Most people ignored me afterwards. The Mean Girl at Nickel High is Jessie Sams. She ruined me, just as Sheila ruined Girl Code. One day, I'd decided to wear a short sleeved shirt. I'd used a zip sweater to cover my arms. That day, during assembly, she dragged me onto the stage and ripped off my sweater. Just to make sure everyone knew what they were staring at, she took a picture of my wrists, which I'd cut last night, and posted it on the school page. Teachers snickered along the sides of the assembly room, and my cheeks started to heat. Sheila was gaping at me, and that was the day we became friends. Since then, Jessie has tortured me, forced me to cut, has even threatened to tell my clueless parents. Isn't life amazing...?

Have you ever been so jealous of someone who wished you could disappear and just die? Its not like anyone will miss me.. especially not Sheila. Nowadays, she just watched Jessie torture me, and once or twice, actually smirked!! I mean, I understand her disliking me because she sees me as competition for her boyfriend, but she even said once, that she'd always put me before anyone else. Well news flash, if you didn't hear, people lie. A lot. Probably more than healthy but who gives a damn anymore?! Surely not me. Do you know how it feels, to watching your blood wash down your wrist, to wear long sleeves to stop your tears, to stop their taunts? Long sleeves aren't enough anymore.. so what is?

I stood at the door of the bathroom where Sheila had run in, completely drowning in my own thoughts. It was hard, you know, to drown in yourself, but to others your standing on solid rock? Even rock erodes anyway, and my rock was wilting to sand by now, if it hadn't become sand already. I pushed the door open, the cool metal pulling me back to the reality I only wished would leave me be. "Sheila?" My voice rang out against the dangerously white tiles, blinding me when they reflected the fluorescent lights. Shielding my eyes a bit, I continued onward, nervous. Sobs drifted through the air from the last stall. Sheila. Have you ever liked someone so much but they hated you, and then they got sad, so you had no idea what to do? Let me break it down- I am just skimming the surface here. I felt like two people had grabbed my arms and were ripping me apart as easily as you break your favourite blouse after you weren't paying attention. But it broke so you either buy another or ignore it. I didn't know if Sheila wanted my help or not, this entire ordeal was making every single thought hazy. But no matter what she thought of me now, she'd once been my best friend, and I won't give her up just yet. I knocked on the stall door and it swung open, creaking like my life source does during my dips during my worst depression periods. "Cairo broke up with m-me.." she sobbed, and my heart broke.

Not everyday do you see someone who hates you in tears, but they also just got dumped by your crush. I was secretly happy, but I've had serious experience with hiding feelings, so I gasped and my hand flew to my mouth. She must've thought it was a saddened gesture but it was hiding a small smile. She stood, her makeup completely ruined, and she just fell into me, her shoulders heaving as she gasped for air between sobs. I rubbed her back softly and whispered "its ok, you deserve better She Ra" over and over again, trying to cheer her up again by using her old nickname. Guess What! It actually worked and her tears slowly turned to giggles as she tackled me in a huge hug, that I hoped signalled she was ok, because my arms were getting tired and so was my depressed, weak brain, the one unused to affectionate gestures.

That afternoon, I caught Cairo staring at Sheila, who was right beside me. Anger immediately flared in me, an emotion that was as dead to me as Latin and Ancient Greek! My eyes blazing, I stood dramatically, stormed over to the boy, and slapped him across his face. I don't know if his cheeks were red from the impact or embarrassment, but he ran out of the lunchroom a few minutes later. I earned a smile from Sheila and couple high fives. Even Jessie smiled at me!!

Sorry that was so long, I just couldn't stop writing!! I'm thinking about posting a part two but I dunno. I doubt anyone will read this, let alone like it XD but if you did, I hope you might've enjoyed what little talent I call my own!