the leader • choi seungcheol

eight

"Are you serious?' Jisoo asks, holding my hand. "I cant stand abusive boyfriend and that just makes me so angry. What Seungcheol said was literally like the exact same thign as that douche bag said. PLease calm down, youre shaking so hard. Ming, get her some water please." 

Minghao stands and rushes away. My hands shake hard and i finally let out a sob.

"Im sorry, im so sorry," Sob lightly. "You shouldnt see my liek this we barely even know each other."

"Honey shut up, i dont care. I know you well enough." He cooes like an older brother.

I take the water from minghao and drink it slowly, trying to stop the incoming panic attack but i cant and i collapse against Joshua in a sobbing mess.

"Ming, shes having a panic attack, get me a pair of your sweatpants, and the comfiest sweater you own. Now!" 

Minghao runs away again as i lay across Joshuas lap, shaking vigorously.

He rubs my arms up and down and runs his figners through my hair.

"Here, help me change her into those, dont give me that look, just help me!" I try my ebest to help them as they try to dress me.

When theyre done, i lay across their laps, their hands massage my body gently as they both sing softly.

I feel my body slowly relax and i curl up against Joshuas chest, finally calming down.

"Hey hey hey, are you alright now?" HE asks, rocking me like a child.

I nod, feeling Minghao resting his cheek on my back, hugging me as well.

"Yes, thank you so much. How did you know things like that?" I ask, voice still soft.

"My sister used to have them really bad, she told me they go away better if youre comfortable. Sorry if you felt uncomfortable whiele we changed you i just went with my instincts." He whispers. "Wait... is this mine? I thought i said... Aish its fine. This is super soft." He says, playing with the hoodie.

I sigh, still curled on Joshuas lap, when my phone stsrts to ring.

"It says Cheol." 

Seungcheol

Please pick up.... Please...

"Choi Seungcheol-Hyung, she doesnt want to speak with you." Joshuas voice floats through the phone and it makes my heart hurt.

"Can you tell her to come back? I need to apologize."

"No." He says, "She will come back when she feels better."

"Shes sick? I made her sick? Aish..."

"No, you caused her a panic attack. You listen to me, you never ever speak to her that way again because you have no clue what it did to her." 

I cant help but feel pain over hurting Hye Rin. 

I didnt mean to get that angry i was just annoyed because i could see the looks on almsot al lfo my mebers f aces. THey all find her beautiful and amazing and i know how they are when they get like that. I just dont want them to hurt her althogh i know she wont even date any of them anyway.... would she?

"Im sorry, i really need to talk to her but just tell her that i will be here when she is ready to come back, im sorry." I hang up and lay back on my bed.

Why does it hurt me so much that i hurt her?

I know i get out of hand when im angry but that wasnt okay. I feel like shit.

Oh, i know!

I get out of bed quickly and look at the time. Only 8pm, stores are still open.

I head out on a mission.

-

I return and have so any bags i cant even open my door at first.

I head into the living oom and start to set everything out and i put some of the edible things in the fridge.

This is sure to make her feel better and accept my apology.

Hye Rin

"You can sleep in your own bed, ill sleep here, really Joshua. Its fine." I say, feeling better after they made me hot green tea and we watched a movie.

"No! Come on," He whines.

"No, go sleep in your bed, ill be here." I push him away.

He finally agrees.

I lay down on the comfortable couch and cover up, sinking down and trying to sleep.

An hour passes in the darkness and i cant fall asleep.

My anxiety is running in my veins and i cant get comfortable.

I sigh.

Im not much of a cuddler but i know it will help fi i have another person next to me so i get up, and walk towards the bedrooms.

I dont want to wake either of them...

At that exact moment, Minghaos door opens.

"Ah, Ming, can i..."

He looks at me with tired eyes, wearing shorts and no shirt. God, why do these boys go to bed like that?

"What?"

"Can i sleep in there with you? It helps me sleep if i have someone next to me after a panic attack." I whisper, shy.

"Of course, come on, i have to pee so just climb in, ill be right back." HE smiles and walks past me.

I go into his room avoiding the slight clutter. His sheets are warm when i climb in and i lay there while i wait.

HE returns and climbs in next to me.

"Let me be the one who gets close to you," I say, a little to quick, immediately i say "Sorry, i just... Im not a huge fan of stuff like this but it really does help. Could you just lay on your back?"

"Sure."

HE does so and i slowly adjust so my body is laying next to his and then i slide my head on his chest and hug his waist, relaxing.

"May i?" He asks, hands hovering around me.

"Yes, please."

He hugs me and i let myself feel safe and comfortable and finally i fall asleep.