The road to my Ever After

Chapter 9

Melody's POV

We'd already walked home and hung out for a while when Matts phone went off.

"Oh. Yeah. Okay I'll be there, I complete forgot!"
Matt hung up. "Gotta go, I'll be back in a bit."

Alrighty then. I watched as he left and eyed Josh up and down.

"Hm?" He looked at me. His blue eyes saw right through me.
"No. Not right now." He said coldly.

"Why?" I asked quietly, not wanting to make him angry, but not understanding what the problem was.

"I said not right now! Damn Mel! Mind your business." He stormed out of the house.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, mostly to myself as tears filled my eyes and I ran upstairs.

I grabbed my suitcase and opened one compartment I hoped to never touch again. I grabbed the razor and leaned up against the side of the bed, sitting on the floor.

I dragged the blade across my skin. Nothing too deep. Just enough to numb the pain on the inside.

One for being annoying
Second for having dead parents
Third for being ugly
Fourth for being in so many homes
Fifth for making josh angry

Four more just because I'm a fuck up. One extra deep cut. Not deep enough to cause problems. But deep enough to make me sick to my stomach.

I pulled my knees to my chest and cried until my lightheadedness turned into unconsciousness.

Josh's POV

I stormed out of the house after snapping at Melody. I just needed to walk for a minute.  I walked to the end of the block and then headed back to Matt's house. 

Why did she want to know so badly? Usually people hear I went to rehab and just run. 

I walked through the front door and looked into the living room, no Melody.
I walked into the kitchen, still no Melody.

"Mel?" I called, heading up the stairs. 

I peered in the bathroom, no Melody there either.

"Melody??" I called into her bedroom. No response.

I walked through the door and towards the bed. A razor lay on the floor. Oh no.

"Mel!" Melody was slouched over with a bleeding wrist.

Look what you've done!

I told myself.

"Fuck!" I ran to the bathroom with some gauze and such.   I ran back and crouched beside  Melody.

I took the wet rag and cleaned up her arm the best I could. I put some ointment on them and wrapped her arm. Her eyes fluttered open.

"J-josh?" She looked at me, then her arm. Her eyes got wide and she looked back at me and started crying.

"I'm so sorry Melody." I frowned and pulled her over to me. 

"Can you stand?" She nodded.
"Let's go to my place and I'll tell you everything."

I handed her her hoodie that was sitting on the bed. She put it on and followed me to my house. 

Melody's POV

I followed Josh into his house. I felt like shit. He wasn't supposed to know about my cutting. 

We walked down to his room and he sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.

I tried to look down but he lifted my chin gently with his hand.

"I'm not in school anymore because I got addicted to heroin." He stated.

I looked at him, nodding for him to continue.

"I got in the wrong crowd. Before that I had anorexia.. it became obvious I wasn't eating.  So I starting eating... but throwing it up after."

I saw his eyes were tearing up. I cautiously grabbed his hand. Was this okay to do?

"I self harmed a lot, and got addicted to heroin.  My parents said get clean or get out.  I didn't have anywhere to go.  I figured I'd get help, come back and get more heroin."
He sniffled. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"The first week was terrible. I could barely walk. Then they had us to these activities.. one was to write a letter to the drug we were addicted to.  I eventually want to turn it into a song.." he looked down.
"The other was drawing circles about the drug I was addicted to, a circle for me and circles for things that mattered.. the size of the circle being how much that thing meant.  The other people's circles.. well the drug was the biggest. For me, music was bigger than all the rest."
He paused for a moment.

"And Ryan? He was the one who got me my drugs.."

I looked at him. He has tears running down his face.  I leaned into him, still holding his hand.  I've only really known him a day, but I already feel so attached.

"I'm so sorry I kept questioning you.." I felt like shit now.  I deserved what I just did to myself.

"It's not your fault Mel. You didn't know.  And I shouldn't have lost my temper... I.. well look where that landed us." He frowned. 
He took my hand and held it before turning my wrist face up. 
He looked like he wanted to cry again.  "Just please, don't do this again?"  He whispered. 

"I'll try.." I said with self doubt. The urges came and went, and only got worse when I was upset.

"I mean it Mel. You don't deserve this."

I frowned. "I guess." I didn't agree, but I grabbed his hand and laid next to him. 
"Josh?"

"Yeah?" He looked down at me.

"Are you going to leave me?"

He looked at me, his sapphire blue eyes filled with emotion.  "Of course not Melody. Why would you think that?"

"Everyone leaves..."

"What do you mean?"

"I had to move here.  I lost all my friends.  We get here and I lost my parents.  I have been in FIVE homes and returned in the last year. The one girl who I was friends with at the orphanage got a home. Everyone else just pretended to be my friend."  I could feel the tears falling.

"Oh Melody. I'm so sorry. I'm here to stay though. No matter what, I'll be right beside you." He looked into my eyes.  "Come here." He said, pulling me into his chest. I hid my face in his chest and cried. 
"Nobody will break you." Was the last thing I heard him say before I drifted into a deep sleep.

That night I dreamed I was married to Josh. We had a daughter, Porcelain. She was beautiful, so fragile, but so tough. She had the voice of an angel.

What does this mean? Josh and I are only friends. Aren't we?

Josh's POV

I looked down at a now sleeping Melody.  I figured I better text Matt to let him know why she wasn't at home.

J- Hey Matt, Melody is here with me. She's having a bad night and she fell asleep here. 

M- okay. Is she okay? What happened?

J- there's a blade on the floor next to her bed, you need to throw it away.  But yes she's okay.

M- okay done, but... what the fuck?

J- I'll have to explain in person. Tomorrow... or I'll come over sometime when she's in bed.

M- okay sounds good.

I sighed and sat my phone down. I'm sure he wouldn't take this well. He flipped out when I self harmed.  For his new sister to be doing it? He was going to panic. 

I laid back beside Melody and felt her cuddle up closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her, and fell asleep faster than I had in months.