Losers club x reader ~prefrences, oneshots, possible smut~

Richie x reader

                                                                                         ~gone~

~Warnings: Suicide, death, feels, self-harm, depression.~

Your POV

I was going to visit my boyfriend of 4 years, Richie Tozier. I loved him so much, and he loved me. My brother Eddie said he's not a good influence on me, I never told my mom about my relationship, she would have an aneurysm if she found out. 

I was going to his place, I was about to enter his home until I heard him and another voice that sounded like Bill. "What do I tell her Bill, I don't know how she'd take it." he wasn't talking about what I'm thinking he's talking about, was he? "Y-Y-You have to t-tuh-tell her R-Richie. She'll find o-out from m-m-me if y-y-you don't tell her." Bill sounded serious. I hear Richie sigh, "I just don't know Bill, how do I tell her I lost feelings for her?" I feel my heart drop, As I open the door. Richie's face goes blank, as Bill just looks down. I look at Richie as I smile with tears in my eyes, "I'll let you go, I love you Richie, goodbye." I turn and walk away as I get stopped by Bill, "(y-y/n) I-I'm s-s-sorry you had t-t-to find o-o-o-out this w-way." I smile, "It's ok Bill there's nothing holding me back now from my choice." He looks at me,"What do you mean by that?" I smile, "You'll see, goodbye Bill." I hug him as I go home.

I was stopped by Eddie while going to the bathroom " Hey (y/n) are you okay?" I smile, "Never been better Eds." I say as I hug him. I go to the bathroom as I roll up my sleeves to see my scars as I pull out an old friend. I forgot how relaxing this was, I wince a bit from the pain but I get used to it. I hear someone knock at the door, "Hey (y/n) I heard about Richie right now. Are you okay in there?" I hide my blade as I pull down my sleeves. I open the door, "Yeah, I'm fine Eds." I push past him, as I'm about to go into my room I look back as I say, "Hey Eddie." He turns as I smile, "Love you, you dork." He smiles, "Love you too sis." I enter my room as I go to my closet and pull out rope I've kept in there ever since my thoughts took over. I tie it into a noose as I walk into my closet as I leave a note on the floor, I leave my closet door halfway open. I tie the rope on one of the rods as I stand on top of my desk chair. My last thoughts were of me and Richie, how much love I had for him. I smile as I kick over the chair. I feel pressure on my neck as I feel the rope cut my neck a bit. It feels painful but it soon goes away as all I see is black.

Richie's POV

I run over to (Y/n)'s and Eddie's house, I knew he was going to fucking kill me but I needed to talk to her. As I walk up to the door I knock as Eddie answers it, he glares at me, "what the fuck do you want, Tozier." I look at Eddie, "Look I know I fucked up, but I need to talk to (y/n), please Eddie!" I beg him. " I haven't heard from her, so just go to her room." I thank him. As I make my way to her room I think of the things I needed to say to her. I did love her, my dumbass didn't realize that I just hoped she would forgive me. As I enter her room, I see no one. I call out her name. I hear something in the closet, I see a piece of paper on the floor as I open the closet door. Only to see my worst nightmare. The love of my life, lifeless in front of me, hanging from a rope. I untie the rope but it's too late. I feel tears run down my face. I hold her lifeless body in my arms. I hear Eddie call my name but I couldn't talk. He walks into the room, his face goes pale, "(y/n)?! Wake up please!" He yells as I get up to call the ambulance.

As the ambulance take her away in a body bag, I walk away as I open the note that was on the floor, 

Dear loved ones, 

I am sorry if It had to be this way, but I was weak for this cold, uncaring planet.the only ones that really cared about me were the Losers club. I was introduced to you guys through Eddie and I never regretted it. Beverly, girl where do I begin. You are the best I've ever met, even though we were the only girls in the group we still kicked ass together. Ben, never give up on your dreams, always stay on the positive sides of things, don't end up like me alone full of negativity. Eddie, you were the best brother a sister could have, yes you were annoying most of the times but I know you meant well, love you, bro. Bill, take care of Beverly for me okay, treat her as a queen, and never lose hope in life okay. Stan, oh Stan the man, never stop the eye rolling, and always believe in yourself, never give up, you are not a failure, you are a winner. Richie, Trashmouth, you were the light of my life, you were the reason why I actually smiled. When I heard you and Bill talking I was completely heartbroken, I felt like you had fallen out of love for me, but at least it meant you were in love with me. If you're reading this Richie, just know I'll always love you. Never forget me guys, I love you all.

                                                                                                                                      Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                       (Y/n) Kaspbrak

I cry as I finish the letter as I see the rest of the Losers behind me reading the letter over my shoulder. I see Eddie look at me as he hugs me, I hug back crying as the others join in. She was gone for good, there was not saving her this time...

(A/n: Hey guys know this is really depressing and sad, but I hope you enjoyed it, and if you're going through depression or anything like that, you could talk to me if you like. And if you do feel suicidal, It's not worth it, you have so much to live for, never give up hope :). Besides that I hope you liked it and if you have any ideas for a oneshot, preference, or smut, don't be afraid to comment or message me :))