Hey, so I had kinda a bad night.. My friend was mad at me, and I was basically forgotten. It was hard not to cry. I felt kinda lost, like I couldn't do anything. I felt anxiety creeping up on me. It did get to me one time, but I controlled it after. My friend got mad at me, cause I was on my phone, helping someone who really needed it. Then she kinda hated me for the rest of the night. I was originally supposed to spend the night at her place tonight, but she made me feel so bad. I couldn't do it. She makes me feel so bad at some points. And it hurts.. But I don't show it. I have to see her on Monday, cause we go to school together. But I don't know if I can. I feel like she has invisible standards for me. And I think that they're pretty high. And it's a lot of pressure. The worst part is, I don't even know if she knows she has these expectations. I could be wrong. But, I feel like she has them. And I feel they're pretty high. She gets mad at me a lot. Like, if I'm on my phone, or if I'm not skating, or if I don't share my emotions. And it breaks me. It hurts. I feel guilty, if I don't meet these invisible 'expansions'. She breaks me down so much. To the point, I don't even know why we're friends. She doesn't know, when she hurts me. I show it, but she just ignores it. I try to give her signs that I'm hurting. But she doesn't notice them. I just don't know how much more of this I can take..
