I have anxiety, that's no surprise to my friends. But I think it's worse then, it's ever been. And it's because I have to go to school tomorrow. It doesn't feel right.. like there's just a pit in my stomach. But there's noting I can do about it. But there's also the thought, that my dad can see whatever I'm doing on my iPad. It scares me, cause he's looking at what I'm doing all the time. Not that I'm doing anything bad, it's just the thought that bugs me. It feels like there are so many butterflies in my stomach at once, and it's almost overbearing. It feels like a wave of anxiety, just rushed over me, but it won't go away. I know a lot of people have it way worse than me, but my life was pretty easygoing. So I've never really had to deal with anxiety. Anyway; I feel so nervous to go to school tomorrow. My friend read a page of my journal, that I didn't want anyone to read. And she got all mad at me, for not expressing my feelings, so that my friends could help me. And now I'm nervous to go to school, and see her again. Plus my other friend. I'm afraid she's going to over react, and be all like "Oh, are you ok?" "You know I'm always here if you need support. I'm going through the same thing." And I just don't wanna deal with it! I don't wanna get mad at her, and have my day be even worse then, I already know it's gonna be! Sometimes I wish I could just cut myself off from other people. Just have a day where no one talks to me, except teachers. But I know that day will never happen. I guess I'm kinda happy that it never will..? But I don't know. I just needed to rant, sorry.
