Judgement Day

Chapter 7

Note; I've moved the story to ao3. I'd prefer people read there instead as I update much sooner on there.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/10334282/chapters/30820776

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Ever since that night, Ashpaw had felt hollowed out, as if birds had decided to build a nest inside his ribs. He felt a sickly feeling every time he ate, and a feeling of disgust when he saw his own reflection. He wasn't afraid of Thunderclan anymore either, surprisingly. He would still get glares from warriors and have queens act paranoid of him around their kits, but his fear had been completely replaced by a low burning hatred.

Every moment he spent healing warrior's injuries, he could only wonder how they had gotten their wounds. What about their opponent? Were they hurt too? Did they have their own families and kits, fully accepting that at any day a simple border skirmish could take away their family's lives?

Ashpaw felt sick knowing that the kits playing in the nursery would grow up and spend their lives fighting and hating their neighboring clans. We're all cats, we all deserve to live. Why do the clans think they are the only important ones in this world? Why can't they just agree to share and be kind to one another? The biggest threat in the forest isn't rogues or badgers...it's themselves.

Night was falling now. The sky was a dim lavender as Ashpaw sat just outside the medicine cat's den. Most cats were just coming back from hunting patrols or were sharing tongues with their friends, but none seemed to notice him among the shadows.

He looked up as he saw the deputy, Brickjaw, returning with his own patrol, the leafy bramble tunnel quivering as the last remaining cats emerged from it. His whiskers twitched. He could leave. He could leave Thunderclan right now if he wanted to. Badgerheart had taught him everything he needed to, and he wasn't a kit anymore. He would be fine on his own, and he could walk as far as his paws would take him, far away from the clans.

He would have left right then and there, but his paws felt anchored in place. The pros and cons outweighed themselves in favour of leaving, but yet he couldn't bring himself to go. Not yet.

He felt his heart stir as familiar dark fur brushed up against his shoulder. He turned and saw Badgerheart, smiling down at him. "Are you just going to stand there moping about? We have to leave in a little bit." his voice rasped affectionately.

Ashpaw nodded, smiling back. The feelings of hatred and despair fled his mind. Badgerheart was the one good thing here, and he was the only family he had known besides his mother, which now seemed like finding her would be an impossible task to achieve. He hadn't given up entirely, but having Badgerheart here to look after him and love him eased his loneliness away for the most part. He was fine living like this, with him.

He couldn't believe he use to be afraid of him. Now, he couldn't imagine Badgerheart not in his life.

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After the sun went down the cold air seemed to grip the world in it's bitter claws. Ashpaw and Badgerheart trudged up the hills of Windclan, the lush grass now dried and crumpled from the cold. Ashpaw wished he had Badgerheart's thick pelt, but even his mentor seemed to be suffering from the freezing wind. He stopped to cough a few times, his breath rasping from the icy wind, but kept moving forward.

When they got to Mothermouth, the other medicine cats were already inside, waiting for them. He noticed they all seemed particularly quiet, watching Ashpaw with mischievous smiles on their faces. Even Crowthroat, who always seemed tired and grumpy, was smirking slightly. After a moment when nobody seemed to say anything, he sat down on the cave floor next to Badgerheart, who was also smiling. "Erm, what's....going on?" he asked anxiously.