Sadie Caulfield

The Starting Point

This is the starting point of Sadie Caulfield;

"Tap, Tap, goes the rain patter of raindrops outside of the children's mental health team unit'. "I gaze out the window into my 6-year-old reflection of the window. 'I look towards my mother, who is reading a book while waiting for the psychologist to arrive" "I look towards my left as I hear the door open, out walks a lady in white coat with black curly hair, with a soft smile across her face". "She looks towards my mother and me and she finally speaks 'Sadie Caulfield?'. My Mother looks up and she responds, 'Yes, that's us", the lady smiles and says 'come this way'. My mother and I follow the lady down the hall, I can't help but look at the dull walls and a couple of rooms with psychologist's names in a bold capital letter that are on their doors. She suddenly comes to a halt and turns to me and my mother and says 'Dr. Hamilton will be with you in a couple of seconds', that's all she says and begins to walk away. My mother knocks the door and we hear a muffled voice respond, my mother opens the door and in we go. When we enter, there is a lady sitting in chair, with brown straight hair, she turns around and smiles at me and my mother, puts her hand out and says 'You must be Jocelyn Caulfield and this must be Sadie', she shakes my mother's hands and moves away from my mother and gets down on her knees and offers her hand out to me while saying 'Hello Sadie, it's nice to meet you, my name is Dr. Hamilton', I begin to grow shy because I am not used to strangers.' I shake her hand. She asks me and my mother to take a seating before she begins the test.

She turns to me and starts doing an assessment on to see if have ADHD or ASD.'. She begins to ask my mother a serious of questions and she responds with; that I have constantly had temper tantrums and that I had no fear of running out in front of roads, which meant I had no road sense at all, I may have nearly gotten myself killed a couple of times. 'Before we leave Dr. Hamilton tells my mother that the test results will arrive in a couple of weeks.

'That's when I was told I have ADHD, ASD, as I gotten older, that's when I began to be angry that I was never the same as anyone I ever knew'. 'I also started asking questions, began googling about it, which as I found out you never google anything because it makes things worse'. As my mother found out about my diagnosis, I was prescribed drugs, which I was always told they were good drugs that helped me.' 'so when I began taking the drugs, I see myself as a druggy, my family reassured me that I was not a drug addict, but I felt like one with how many I was taking'. 'by thirteen I was prescribed melatonin, it is a drug that helps me sleep properly that is what my mother says, but I beg to differ'.

I could say I handled high school and primary school. At first I didn't enjoy taking my medication but I had to because, I wouldn't be the same without it. I had a couple of friends in primary school, I still talk to them sometimes and then I started high school and my three friends have made it bearable for me.

'As I got older I began to become more aware of when my table began to wear off'. "when I was thirteen the question that got me annoyed was when my family always asked or I was talking to much would be "Have you had your Ritalin?" that very word makes my skin crawl but now not so much'.' 'I would describe myself as chatty, short-tempered, bubbly, happy go lucky, full-time procrastinator and forever a daydreamer'. 'My family would say different, they would say I'm a joy to be around and that I'm lovely to be around', still that didn't change my thinking about myself. 'By thirteen I 'tired' to commit suicide, it was too sore and I gave up'. I always believed I was good at social interactions, but I knew deep down I was horrific at it; because of 1. I never knew how to shut up, plus people had to tell me, 2. I could never change the subject, even though that subject was exhausted like 25 mins ago'. 'it was worse when I started developing crushes, I could talk about them all the time and people would get annoyed or would change the subject. 'I knew as well that I became too obsessed with my crushes'. 'I found it was bad when I started crushing on boys because I would get distracted, I Sadie Caulfield knew it was dangerous ground to start liking people because I gave up my work to talk to boys who were never interested, I knew they wasted my time, but it was the same vicious cycle I kept going in.' I would deny it because I didn't want to think of myself in such a negative way. 'I'm trying to like myself and think positively about myself, even though everyone hates themselves, mines are a matter of dark hate about myself'. 

By immortalslovers123