The Cripple and The Shieldmaiden III

// 7 //

She didn't slept in weeks like she did now. Torhild felt safe, home again, surrounded by her family. Despite that Iceland was a good reason for her to come to rest, she never did it fully, she always hang in that little sadness of not being home. She slowly opened her eyes, squeezing them a little closer for it was already light. Her first panic was Ase as she didn't lay against her again. Normally Ase always cried through the night, wanting to drink, being difficult to sleep but she didn't now. Torhild lifted her head, looking from Raynor who laid on a small bed a little further to over her shoulder to Ivar holding Ase in his arms. She breathed out in relief, closing her eyes as her head landed back in the bed.
'I never got much time with her.' He whispered. Torhild turned around, looking up to Ase pressed against his chest, her little fingers wrapped around his big one. Ivar pulled his eyes loose from his daughter and looked down to Torhild who was still laying down. 'You are different.' He noticed, he didn't sounded soft or angry, it was just a casual statement and Torhild looked away.
'I saw a lot.' She answered him. He squeezed his eyes softly together, giving her that demanding look for explanation. 'The gods came to me, while you were away, more than once.' She explained, doubting her every word.
'What did they show you?' Ivar asked. Torhild pushed herself up, looking down to Ase rather then looking over to him.
'You and Reyna, smiling, drinking, touching,' her voice faded. 'kissing.' She whispered. She stroke her loose hair over her head, holding her hand on it before looking up to him. He straightened his back, leaning forward as he almost harshly grabbed her neck, still supporting Ase completely, the girl didn't even wake up.
'You think I care for her, I love her, that she is a better queen because she has more? Is that what you think Torhild?' His voice sounded impatience, not believing she just said that. She grabbed his wrist from the hand that laid around her neck.
'I'm afraid of loosing you. I did not conquer England because I'm an heir to the throne, I did it because it was you who supported me.'
'And I support you now to.' He warned her. She looked down, trying to push back the exhaustion and sadness that followed her over the days she was apart from him. His grip softened and he stroke his thumb over her jaw. 'Torhild.' He said, pushing her chin up so she was forced to watch him. 'No queen is you, what I did, I did only for you. For Raynor, for Ase.'
'It was real Ivar.'
'Nothing is real if it isn't with you.' He almost interrupted her and she forced a weak smile on her lips. He shook his head, stroking the one single tear over her cheek. 'I should have never left you.' He said. He was brewing, angry on himself for leaving her again, weak ... vulnerable.
'You had to.' She reacted right back.
'You weren't yourself past nine months, not even now, I need my Torhild back.' He said, clenching his hand tighter against her neck. She pulled herself closer to him, boxing Ase in between their chests as she laid her hand against his jaw.
'Make me, make me powerful again. I missed a lot over the months, I felt like abandoning everything. I need to find myself again.' She explained. His hand moved through her hair while he tilted his head and gazed in her eyes.
'I will give you that.' He promised, pulling her face closer. She clutched her fingers around his tunic, pressing her lips against his. He opened his lips and Torhild softly expressed her missing for him as her hand runs over the braids in his hair. His hand left her face, kneading in her side until Ase started yelling and Torhild pulled back, resting her forehead against his as she looked how he opened his blue eyes. All the restlessness, the anger, it slipped out until there was nothing but his strength, his confident. And that smile came slowly on his lips, the smile of power and Torhild slowly stroke her hand over his jaw before looking down to Ase who was looking at the both of them. 'Is she like Raynor?' He asked. Torhild pulled back, taking Ase over from him while shaking her head.
'She is not, more like you, stubborn and wanting her way.'
'I'm not,' they both fell silent as Raynor woke up. Torhild pulled back to feed Ase as she watched the cautious look from Raynor to his father.
'I told you, whatever you would see, it isn't true.' She reminded him. Raynor slowly walked over to the bed, to his mother.
'Where is Hvitserk?' He asked and Torhild knew in a second he ruined everything.

When she stepped outside the house, the crows flew all over Kattegat towards the forest. Torhild looked up before she looked over to Ivar his moody face.
'He didn't liked what he saw yesterday.' She reminded him to not get angry on Raynor for wanting Hvitserk more. In a way Hvitserk was still his father, for four years. And with what he saw between Ivar and the queen ... she understood, but Ivar didn't.
'You shouldn't have taken him with you to begin.' Ivar stated, walking on his crutch aside her as Raynor ran over to the great hall.
'I didn't had a choose.'
'You always have.'
'Ivar, stop this.' She warned him. 'He is four, don't judge him over things he can't understand yet.' She said on a softer voice. Ivar looked aside to her, groaning before softly nodding. His eyes lowered for a second to Ase before Marion walked by and took the little girl over from Torhild. She stood still before the great hall, looking up to the place that always carried her heart. Halfdan stood aside her mother in the entrance and Torhild walked over to the both of them.
'You are the queen now, I kept your spot safe, Björn kept your armies safe, it's all up to you and,' Lagertha her voice drifted as she looked to Ivar. The rivalry would never leave the two of them.
'I served Ivar for a very long time in England, I think we will be fine.' Halfdan chuckled, nodding to the both of them before walking inside after Ivar. Torhild looked after him before forcing her eyes back up to her mother.
'I failed you and our people, that won't happen again.' Torhild said. Lagertha smiled, shaking her head as she laid her hands softly around Torhild her face.
'You failed nobody Torhild, where the Gods lead you to is only for them to know, later on it will revile its true purpose.' She whispered, pulling her daughter in a tight embrace. Torhild breathed out, smiling as she enjoyed the warmth her mother was providing her. 'Now,' She softly pulled back. 'go tell us what to do with that queen.' Lagertha encouraged her. Torhild nodded and walked together with her mother into the great hall. A lot of villagers were there, nodding, bowing, greeting her as Torhild walked aside her mother towards the thrones. Raynor sat on Hvitserk his lap, right beside a full pregnant woman, a princess you would recognize everywhere, even if she was no longer on English soil. There was a girl in her lap, a girl who didn't had a father and lost her mother a year ago. Torhild couldn't imagine how it was for little Freya without Ase, her mother, around. But seeing her smile she was in capable hands of Hvitserk and Elisabeth. Torhild gave both her and Elisabeth a short smile before she turned her eyes back to Ivar and Halfdan. 'Torhild came back to free us from a woman that wasn't fit to rule this village.' Lagertha said with a proud voice to the people. 'For that I will step down and give her the throne to Kattegat and so much more.' Lagertha bow, placing her own crown on the head of her daughter. Torhild lifted her head to people that started balding for the fact she now was the queen of Kattegat.
'I wouldn't be standing here with the support and kindness of a lot of people around me. But that is something we can celebrate later,' Torhild started, looking aside to Ivar who was absorbing her from a little distance. He didn't claim that throne aside her, he just stood there with Halfdan, watching like everybody else did. 'Reyna took us home, she took our people, for that she won't go unpunished. We will restore the balance of the gods, I will reclaim the shattering pieces of this great heathen army.' She followed with a strong nod. 'But as a mother and a queen my place is no longer on a battlefield, for that,' she felt silence and looked aside to Ivar. 'Ivar will lead the heathen army.' She announced. The smile that came on Ivar his lips was the kind of smile that silenced everybody in the room. The sharp thud of his crutch on the wood when he walked closer kept that silence together. He was still feared, everybody still knew where Ivar The Boneless was capable of.
'Smile a little more, the dark days are over.' He chuckled to the people, standing still aside Torhild as he studied her face. 'We have our righteous queen now, they have to crumble that whole heathen army before they get to her.' He nodded and everybody started balding again. 'I'm at your service queen Torhild.' He bowed with that amused grin.
'Thank you Ivar.'
'Now, can I get to go kill that queen?' He asked almost innocent, to innocent and Torhild knew from that moment they were both back in the game.

'She had Harald, for that she must have a back up plan to all of this.' Ubbe noticed. Torhild rubbed her forehead, looking away from the food to Raynor who was playing with Freya and Ubbe his children. She forgot how it looked like and she smiled.
'Then we kindly ask her to give her Harald back before we kill her.' Ivar shrugged like it was no big of a deal.
'Are we gonna kill her?' Halfdan asked. Torhild looked over to the men around the table, pointing towards what Ivar said.
'She needs punishment.'
'Let's first talk to her, see what we can get over King Harald? What her plans were?' Hvitserk suggested.
'You think she gonna spill all of that just because you smile sweet to her?' Ivar taunted his brother. Torhild looked carefully over to Hvitserk who squeezed his eyes a little together.
'No, but your charm past days didn't do much either. Did she even tell you that she had Harald at her side?' Hvitserk reacted back. For a second she thought it would be all fighting and arguing again but Ivar chuckled and it didn't took long for Hvitserk to join in that. Torhild exchanged a weird look with Ubbe before getting up, all heads turned to her.
'Let's go talk with that queen.' She suggested. Hvitserk nodded and jumped up just as the others did.
'Where are you going?' Raynor asked curious. Torhild crouched down before him, giving Freya a loving smile before answering.
'We are gonna talk to that woman.' She explained.
'You stay here and protect the little girls.' Ivar followed, rubbing his hand over Raynor his head. Raynor looked up to his father, nodding as he pulled out his wooden sword.
'With my life.' He nodded confident.
'Don't take it that serious.'
'You wouldn't die for mother?' Raynor asked right back. Torhild suppressed her smile as she looked up to Ivar, curious to his answer.
'Every day again.' He nodded, giving her an intense look before walking on. Raynor turned back to Torhild and give her a hug, running over to his little sister who was with Marion. Torhild stood up and followed the others outside. The weather got clouded and Torhild looked up to the crows still flying around, she looked over to the cabin that was surrounded by some men.
'Something is different.' Torhild whispered. Hvitserk and Ivar stopped both on the same time and turned around.
'What is?' Ivar asked. Torhild looked back up to the changing weather, the crows before looking back to the brothers. Hvitserk started looking around as Ubbe was still looking to the sky. Ivar grunted angry while he walked over to the cabin, nodding with his fingers to the two men standing before the door. They hurried on getting the door and a lost crow flew outside while Ivar walked in.
'She isn't there.' Torhild whispered. All eyes on where Ivar disappeared, she heard something smack against the wood before he got back out.
'She is gone!' He hissed. Torhild slowly looked back up to the crows flying in one big group away.
'When father died Odin came to tell us.' Hvitserk whispered. Ivar froze and turned around, Ubbe froze.
'What are you saying brother?' Ivar asked tensed. Hvitserk looked over to his brother before looking back to Torhild.
'What if this was a warning? An announcement?'
'You think this was the gods?' Ubbe asked shocked, pointing to the shed.
'I don't know, what else could it be?' Hvitserk asked. Torhild didn't know she stopped breathing until her lungs felt kind of tight. She breathed slowly out.
'What are they warning us for then?' Halfdan asked.
'That something bigger will come.' Torhild whispered. They all looked to one another in disbelieve, letting it sink in that his woman, this queen wasn't just a queen ... she was a warning, a messenger, an story that needed to be told.