We Run Around With Monsters Under Our Feet [m.y+j.h]

7. UP ABOVE

"Can't even balance no more,
Cause I put all my weight on you.

But you're gone." Gone, Michl
***

Jungkook let in one final ragged breath as he watched the metal grate cover the well his friend was just sent down. His fingers grasped desperately on to Taehyung's coat and he tried to calm himself to the repetitive shushing sound the elder emitted with his head rested on top of Jungkook.

Hoseok was gone.

That was all Jungkook could comprehend and as he shut his eyes and rubbed his face into Taehyung's chest, he couldn't help but think Taehyung smelt slightly like Hoseok.

His eyes blinked open to see Jimin, Seokjin and Namjoon opening up the letters him and Hoseok had delivered the night before. Images and thoughts of himself and Hoseok walking side by side in the streets moonlight made him want to cry out again. So he whimpered into Taehyung.

"Are you okay?" His honey-like voice cooed.

To which Jungkook replied with a sudden shake of head.

"That was a silly question. I know you're not, and it's okay. It's okay."

Jungkook growled pathetically, "How is this okay? My best friend has just left to die. He is no longer here and you're trying to convince me it's okay?" He looked up, directly into the elders eyes. Trying his hardest not to flutter his eyes shut when he started petting his hair.

"Okay then. It's not okay. None of this is right, normal or what Hoseok deserves. But do you think, he would want you to cry? Exactly. So don't come after me because this is far out of my reach. I can't bring him back. All I can do is make sure you're okay. And I'll walk through heaven and hell to make sure that you don't lose yourself because you lost Hoseok." Taehyung huffed, breaking eye contact and his cheeks heated up.

"Taehyung." Jungkook curled into him again, as graciously as a cat. His voice was weak and he repeated the boys name. The tension between them was obvious and Jungkook sighed out a quiet "thank you."

"Are you going to open your letter?" Taehyung sniffed, flicking the paper envelope sticking out of Jungkook's pocket. With a feeble attempt to take the attention off his blushing cheeks.

"Yeah. I will... You?"

Taehyung nodded, grabbing his letter  from his back pocket. "Open them together?"

For some reason, Jungkook was nervous. Inside this letter was everything Hoseok ever wanted to say to him. Inside this letter was Hoseok's true feelings. Things his friend was unable to say to his face. He looked at Taehyung who was carefully opening his letter and pouted. What would be in his letter? He hoped Hoseok hadn't been an idiot and said something rude, especially as the two males had forgiven each other. And what feelings could Hoseok have towards Taehyung that he felt the need to write down?

Taehyung felt the younger's gaze and smiled reassuringly. "I have no clue what that loser has to say to me."

Jungkook cringed slightly but the light tone Taehyung used was so easy going that he knew he meant nothing bad.

"Taehyung..."

"No no! Don't read it out loud!" Jungkook began, grabbing Taehyung's forearm lightly. "He wrote these letters for us individually. So we have to read them individually. And then maybe we talk about it."

To be perfectly honest, Jungkook was frightened of having to read his own letter out. Something about it was intimate and the idea of reading it out left him feeling naked and weak. He didn't want to feel so vulnerable in front of Taehyung.

Slowly, the light sound of tearing paper rang through Jungkook's ears. His heart fluttered at an alarming pace.

My Dearest Friend, Jungkook

I miss you. A lot. Each second I spent with you made me yearn for you even more. It was an endless cycle of want. I always tried to keep a smile on my face because I knew you were hurting just as bad and if I was sad, you'd feel even worse. There was nothing I wanted more than for time to stop and we just lie on my bed with our arms wrapped around each other, stuck in our own little world.

Time with you, was always the best. You were quick and witty, not afraid to speak your mind and the words you spoke were full of admiration.

I really miss you, Kook.

I want it to stop, this unbearable pain of longing. It shouldn't be that every time I see you smile, I want to burst into tears. It's unfair that I will never get to see that smile again. But I know I will hold memories of your beautiful smiling face inside of me.

I was always brave when it came to my fate because I believed if you couldn't change it, then why should you be afraid of it? If I tried to change my fate and failed, I wouldn't accept it. But we both know that it was far out of my control. So I've had to accept it. It may have not been correct to think like that (and I know now that I probably shouldn't have thought like that).

I was always looked down upon. All my 19 years. It felt as if I always came second place in society. I was practically scum, the crumbs left of the plate for the birds. But I'm thankful for you Jungkook, and I hope you know that. You put me first. You treated me like I was apart of the living society who wasn't damned. You accepted me, 100%.

I seemed to never put in to perspective that you would also miss me. It was only when you cried on to my shoulder in the Hide Out I realised how much I was apart of your life, as you were mine.

Never forget me, that's all I ask. I think my heart would break if you ever did. And I don't want to be dead and stuck with an unrequited love.

Please don't cry for me, Jungkook. I hate to see you sad and I won't be able to cope knowing I was the cause of your tears. I'm sorry if that's a hard request, I know you'll want to cry when I leave but I'm hardly gone. As long as you keep me in your heart.

Remember, I love you. I may never have said it because we weren't really into that gay shit, but I did. I may not be able to say it again, but I still do. You'll forever be in my heart Jeon Jungkook.

Thank you Kook for my wonderful life.

All the love in the world,

Hoseok xx

Jungkook gasped, his lungs felt deprived of air and he couldn't help the stuttered heaves that felt out of his mouth. A fat tear dropped to the floor in front of him and as quick as could be, Jungkook wiped his face ridding them of the tears Hoseok wouldn't want to see him cry.

He looked over to Taehyung who studied him weirdly. Flicking his head between the letter in his hand and Jungkook's face.

"Tae? Is everything alright?" The boy looked pale, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Fine." His tone was distant and his eyes burned holes into Jungkook. "I, I've got to get going."

Taehyung quickly dragged Jungkook into a hug, basking in the way his chin hooked neatly against the top of Jungkook's head.

A blush crept its way on to Jungkook's cheek, he could feel Taehyung's heart rate, quick and unsure, but he wouldn't notice the fact that the elders heart rate increased when his arms wrapped around his lower waist.

"You're brave Jungkook." He murmured turning away, "and I love you for that."

***

wooooo~ that was something. I'm sad for Jungkook tbh.

Is this the last time we hear from Jungkook?? Maybe.

Yeah so emotional wreck Jungkook is back at it again  being all tearful and stuff.

Hope you enjoyed this lil' filler chapter :)

Lotta Love,

K