♡; the man who was once the one i loved the most

12

3.3.2015

Hi Chanyeol.

This is Baekhyun. Oh, how unexpected, right? Never mind. I just started writing this notebook, because... my doctors just said that I'm going to die in a few months caused by cancer that has once again occurred in my miserable life. So... I decided to write this for you. You don't know about anything because I just don't want to hurt you. It's better to keep it hidden, I think. Now you came into the room again, I will have to deal with my racing heart again, shame on you Park! I love you, bye! ^^

2.4.2015

Hi Chanyeol.

It's Baekhyun! Today I panicked. I'm sorry for running away... reuniting with our good old friends was really special for me, but when Sehun pointed at that place, I couldn't anymore. It reminded me of the moment when the symptoms of cancer showed on me for the first time. It has affected my whole life. My mentality. I have to take pills to be calmer. My whole life feels like a fucking joke, haha. But when you hugged me... as if all of the bad demons vanished into the air. I just... really love you. Really really love uuu!

15.9.2015

Hi Chanyeol.

Baekhyun here, as always. The number of pages that I've written for you is huge, haha. And... it hurts to fill the last page with saying goodbye. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being a part of the best team together with Sehun, Minseok and me. Thank you for being my first kiss. For being someone whom I adore the most. For being my first love. For being a part of my loveliest memories.

Thank you for everything I guess?

They said that I have maybe just 3 hours.

I feel like a total nothing. Everything hurts. I look terrible... you would laugh at me. I have no hair and I look like a zombie. PS Sorry for this text not being that much able to be read, I'm trying hard.

Once again...

Goodbye, Park Chanyeol.

The man who was once the one I loved the most. ♥