The Juliette Chronicles: A Kenji and Juliette fanfiction

Part One

“I thought you were afraid of heights princess”.

I gave a start so violent that I nearly fell off the concrete ledge I was sitting on. Pulled from thoughts so deep I was nearly drowning, I realised again how high up this building really was. I could barely see the abandoned vehicles parked on the sides of the streets below.

“The view is so beautiful from up here” was the only quiet answer I could give.

I could smell the harsh soap we were forced to wash with before I even felt the weight of his presence beside me. I felt a warm, strong hand land gently on my shoulder, tracing comforting circles into my carefully clothed skin.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened in there before?” Kenji’s voice was much softer than usual, all traces of sarcasm gone from his lips.

For a moment I considered answering him. But every time I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was shaking breath. Instead I stretched my legs out in front of me, feeling them float in the open air. I wondered what it would feel like to be able to float like an autumn leaf in the wind. I wondered what it would feel like to float aimlessly through the sky with no responsibilities, or feelings. My bones felt stiff, held down by the weight of so many impossible choices. No matter what I said or did, I always let someone down.

“You can talk to me you know. I know I’m meant to be Adam’s friend, but you’re my best friend J, and I know you’re hurting” his voice was laced with concern. There was another emotion hidden under the worry, but I couldn’t quite grasp it with my rigid fingers. He slid closer to me on the ledge we were perched on, and wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders. I leant into his chest, welcoming the kind, familiar touch. Kenji was the only thing that had remained constant in the craziness of the past few weeks. After finding out that Adam wasn’t actually immune to my touch, my heart was broken. Kenji was the only person I could talk to, even though sometimes I knew he could care less. He always listened, and then he would wipe away my tears with tender fingertips. Even if those fingertips did have to be covered by the corner of his shirt to do so.

I took a deep breath. 

“Adam needs to understand that things are different now. So much has happened since we first met. If I could control my feelings, there are so many things I would change-” I looked into Kenji’s dark eyes, and my breath faltered, “So many feelings I would erase from my heart”. Kenji’s grip tightened on me slightly at that last bit. His expression became faintly deeper, his eyes turning the colour of an endless universe. It was almost as if he could feel the electricity pulsing through my veins, because he suddenly became more alert, and I could see his pulse jumping erratically in his throat. He leaned in closer to me, our faces mere centimeters away from each other. His chest expanded against my back as he took a deep breath. 

“How can you lose feelings for someone you cared so deeply about?” his voice was anxious now, and there was no accusation in his tone. It was almost as though he was asking for himself rather than me. There was an unexplainably deep expression in his eyes now. It caused my breath to hitch and my fingers to shake ever so slightly.

“I will always care about him Kenji, but when I first met him I was so hopelessly lonely. I’d never felt human compassion or decency my entire life. He was my first friend” my voice broke at that last part, and Kenji’s expression became considerably darker, almost as though what I said had made him angry somehow. “Once I realised I wasn’t alone, I knew that what I felt for Adam was more of a desperate desire to not be lonely more than anything. He was the only person who could touch me, so I thought we were meant to be together. But now I know that love isn't that simple” my voice trembled violently as I spoke, because Kenji’s eyes were boring into me. He continued to stare at me for what felt like an eternity, his wide eyes filled with what seemed to be distress, almost as though he wanted to say something to me, but he didn't know how.