I ain't in your head to read your thoughts...
I ain't in your heart to see the scars..
But when you stare at me with those bottomless swirling pools of black I see what even words couldn't capture
I can't say I know how you feel
Because it breaks me the way you look at me and lay me bare,shadows and secrets unraveling and I can do little to stop it...
I love you,I swear I do
But I hurt you,I know I did
And your tears,they haunt me
They scream profanities at me every torturous night and I am awake but delusional,because your heartbeat is ringing in my ears and the pieces I broke into fragments are exploding in my face...
I knew you. I don't know if I still do...
But I memorized every twitch of those plush lips,every crinkle of those almond eyes,every hitch of breath when our fingers accidentally brush...
Each rise and fall of your bosom,where I lay so many nights listening to this heartbeat that is now making my ears bleed...
I say I don't know you anymore because you've grown so much and it scares me
You're now so strong,you don't need me anymore
Now you can look me in the eye and raise your eyebrows high
Now you can sit next to me without tearing up
Now you can give me that smile that screams "You're in my past. "
And I love you,God,how I love you....
But I had my chance and I kicked it to the curb...
I sold my home in your arms for an illusion...
And girl you are all I see..
On these walls,in these books.
You're screaming and shouting and crying,you're asking me why..
But that is only in my head..
Because I look up and you're smiling at something he said,and he tucks a stray strand of your,oh so soft hair behind your ear, it makes you blush....
You look so much happier,he fills your eyes with the light I couldn't give,I so selfishly withheld...
And now you're bouncing on his lap and I'm wishing I could turn back time to when I once held you the same way and it made you squeak.
But I am now just a closed chapter in your book...
A chapter you've stapled into the recesses of your beautiful mind....
YOU ARE READING
Wireless Mind
PoetryThese are aimless thoughts often banging at my door in the middle of the night demanding release. And I am at their mercy,to paint them in the truest picture on paper with words only the soul can conjure. Join me in my midnight dance with them...
