Broken Roads

3.

Kane

Kane felt like her heart had been ripped to pieces but instead of happening once ; It was happening over and over and over ..
The atmosphere couldn't have been more depressing and humid . Outside;  the rumbling of an oncoming storm matched the Painful and Sad energy of the Church perfectly .
She sat or more like leaned -against the bench as the pastor  rumbled on about Justin being in a better place .

Which almost made her angry . Her brother was DEAD. He wasn't in a better place . He wasn't on this earth with Her and the rest of his family . He wouldn't get to see his fiancé give birth to his baby girl . It wasn't fair .

Her eyes filled with tears making them spill over immediately and replace itself with  even more tears .
It wasn't fair .
She subconsciously put her frail arms around her body as if comforting (unsuccessfully ) herself .
Kane eventually blocked out the rest of the service but  what she could hear ; was her mother screaming w her dad holding onto her  .
She heard the painful cries of his fiancé who was 6 months pregnant .
She heard his friends sniffling and whimpering from the feeling of the loss of their best friend .
She heard it all.
Which made it ten times worse for her . She had to get out of that church before she suffocated .
Her body straightens up and her dark brown eyes clear up a bit .
She suddenly jumped up catching everybody for surprise .
Tightening her hold around herself ; She turns around on her heals and speed walks as fast as she can right out of the old building , only faltering slightly when her sights land on her car .  Kane quickly gets in her Silver Camry and speeds out of the small parking lot .

......
She hadn't eaten since Saturday and it was now Wednesday . She wasn't hungry one bit . Her stomach felt queasy and her whole body felt and looked visibly sick .  Her face pale and stained with water . If she were not honest with herself - she wouldn't admit that she wanted to die .
Kane hadn't even looked at her phone since she can home from her Brothers wake and she didn't doubt that she had several missed calls from her family worrying about her .
It had been three days since she found out that he had died .
Even thinking about the word 'dead 'at this point had her squeezing her eyes shut tight  and drawing a shaky breath out of her slightly chapped pink lips .

  Her head falls forward to rest on her folded knees as she hugs herself absentmindedly. She really needed-
She didn't know what she needed .
She didn't know what would make her feel better but , she knew one thing ; that she needed something to numb the pain . It was unbearable . In that moment she decided to slowly drag herself up off of the bathroom floor and slowly gazes at herself in the mirror . She was almost almost unrecognizable.. Her almond shaped eyes were red from her Steady tears , they were accompanied w dark bags under them & Her hair was disheveled . She still had on the black loose fitted dress with long ruffle sleeves that she had worn to the funeral ..
She looked horrible and that just made her wanna breakdown even more .
Letting out a heart breaking sigh - She  takes off her dress in one swoop .
Kane turned on the hot water of her shower as hot as it could go and steps right into the steaming tub .
The hot water felt good on her Tan skin .
She drops her head back and let's it run down her face and trickle down her body . A choked sob escapes her small frame as an image of her brother pops into her mind .
She stays in there for hours just like that - in the same position while her tears mix with the scalding hot water .  She finally is forced to step out when the water turns cold .
This feeling in her soul - she's never felt anything like it until now . She felt detached now , As if her body couldn't find the ability to produce any more tears .

She dragged herself to her drawers and through on a baggy T-shirt and a pair of joggers . She didn't feel like impressing anyone . She didn't give a fuck about what anyone had to say because Kane was going through some shit and everyone could just kiss her ass .
Sniffling slightly - she slides her feet into her vans and trudges out of the door .
She needed something to numb her even more .

...
"That will  be 22.37 "  She gives him two twenties , grabs her brown bag and swivels around so fast forgetting her change .

She wasn't paying attention to the person behind her because she felt her body collide with a bigger body then hers and a pair of arms snake around her waist to steady her.
"Woahh" The person said with an accent almost hypnotizing and soothing to her ears  - Kane looks up and immediately apologizes w her tear filled brown eyes  .
"I'm sorry - " her sad eyes connect with a pair of blue eyes and colorful tattoos .
The woman before her smiles slightly .
"It's okay love " Kane looks at the ground embarrassed and gives her a weak smile . The pain was quite evident in Kane's eyes .
She needed to get out of here and back home .
Snatching herself from The Woman's hold - Ruby looks at her startled and watches almost as if in slow motion - as she stumbles and rushes out of the gas station door . Ruby still held her gaze at the door long after the woman had left - she didn't realize that she was standing there for more than a few seconds until she heard the cashier call for her .
"Ma'am ?"
Shaking Her Head and snapping out of her thoughts ; She stepped up to pay for her things .
The look in those pain filled brown eyes almost imprinting in the back of her mind .