Ultra Magnus Expected Nothing and You All Still Managed To Disappoint Him

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by mechanomorphic

by mechanomorphic

When Ultra Magnus asked Swerve, Whirl and Eclipse to assist with 'educating young humans', he'd expected a half-hearted effort, Whirl to get bored and Magnus would have to restrain him and throw him in the brig or for them to not show up at all and Magnus having to find another punishment to give the trio.

He was not expecting... well, this.

"MY NAME IS SPRITE PEPSI AND I'M ABSTENCE TILL I DIE!" Eclipse shouted, slamming her body onto the table. Swerve and Whirl burst into hysterics behind her. The group of young humans, who would find the action comedic if not performed by a 17 foot tall robot, flinched backwards.

Magnus very much doubted she even understood what she was saying.

Apparently, asking them to research by themselves was severely overestimating their abilities in both 'acting vaguely professional' and 'not being idiots'. The three had chosen strange 'teen names', Eclipse would later explain this was based on a video they had found during their searching, and seemed to completely miss what Magnus had intended them to teach. Instead yelling slogans or possible threats at the humans.

Needless to say, Magnus was not impressed.

"My name is RC Josta and I chose hugs not drugs!" Swerve attempted to shriek through fits of uncontrollable laughter. Whirl tried to reach towards the table trying to stabilize himself but missed entirely and ended up face-up on the ground, still laughing.

This made Eclipse, who at that point had been the most controlled of the trio, to also burst out laughing and throw herself onto Swerve in a giggle fit.

Rodimus, who had stayed at Magnus' side through this... ordeal (Megatron gave a vague excuse and left as soon as Whirl started screaming about smoking), had a massive grin splitting his face as he watched the disastrous trio stumble about and try to get back on topic. "Is it bad if I say this is better than I expected?"

Magnus thought about it, honestly he should had expected much, much worse. "Not really. At least they haven't squished anyone yet."

"I mean, I don't think they'll ever forget today. Not necessarily for the right reasons but..." Rodimus shrugged, "They seem to be having fun."

Magnus was tempted to remind Rodimus that this was supposed to be a punishment after they hijacked the ships PA system and played an annoying Earth song for six hours straight but...

He turned back to see Eclipse leaning on Swerve while the both of them tried to help Whirl up, shrieking when he pulled them both down with him leaving all three laughing on the floor.

... He supposed they'd done what he'd asked them.

"I'm just going to throw them in the brig next time." Magnus responded crankily.

- - -

This drabble was based on a skit from the McElroy show 'My Brother, My Brother and Me', where the boys argue over 'teen names'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q0fly2Uk6I