HEALING (bxb)

Chapter 11 - Riveting Person

(Phana)

My hands are firmly grasping the hot cup of Americano to absorb heat to my already numb fingers. Extreme coldness is felt throughout my body since I woke up this morning. Honestly speaking, I did not take a shower today for (1) cold season starts kicking in especially during daybreak which makes it an extra challenge to touch the water; (2) my body felt a bit under the weather due to staying very late last night; and (3) the heater of my shower is broken.

Everybody knows I am not a morning person so you can only imagine the adjustment I exerted for my eight o'clock morning appointment. Patiently waiting for my manager, I got absorbed by the relaxing vibe of the coffee shop where I am lazily seated. The usual gloomy but perfectly matched background song serenades the whole facility. Different people, normally in corporate attire, are dropping by the shop to fill their presumably empty stomachs with caffeine.

The drink I have been pouring my throat reminds me of the one Pring and I used to share as our favorite. After we broke up, we remained good friends since that's what we both wanted. Resorting to hating each other after I one-sidedly requested to give ourselves space will never speeds up the process of moving forward. It was not a difficult phase for her though. She just hopes that if we are really destined to be together, the univese will find its way to bring us back in each other's arms. That's kinda old school romantic crap but you gotta believe in what they say that love is love, and it is what it is.

Was it finally time to go back to the old Phana?

I have to admit that love had changed me, turned me to a cheesy sappy guy whose mouth spits candies and chocolates. There is nothing wrong with that though, I just miss the does-not-give-a-fuck Phana.

Last night, my manly ego attempted to unleash my old self. Hitting the pub for some prospect lady to screw, I also missed flirting and hitting on some random strangers just to have fun. I know you guys are thinking that I'm the worst but ladies automatically get attracted to me when I'm acting jerk and asshole in a place like bar, you know manly angst. To begin with, people there do not look for a committed relationship but just casual flirting and a chance to bring someone with them to 'further' enjoy the night.

When I'm about to flaunt my (according to the majority) hot body and to-die-for smile on a very sexy girl last night, a person whom I thought was a lesbian caught my attention. It's not that I have never seen one but an interesting idea flashed my brilliant. I want to challenge myself and test my ability on a whole new level. For the record, I have never ever hit on a lesbian in this sort of occasion. My friends will surely get envious (with the exception of N'Kit because he will only bow down to me when I try hitting on a straight guy) if they find out I scored on a lesbian.

But when the universe has a different plan on you, it will surprise you in a strange way to remind that your action is very inappropriate. When I caught the lesbian staring at his iced tea, I did not prevent my mouth from blurting unfiltered words that could humiliate a person. To make the long story short, I bullied the lesbian and ended up chasing her because I made her cry with matching walk-out.

You are so helpless, self, you know that?

While chasing, my mind debated on itself it the person I made fun with was really a lesbian or a guy because the voice I unclearly heard sounds the latter. I don't mean to offend let's make it clear but the dimness of surroundings unable me to clearly checked things up. I was flabbergasted when I saw his crotch though, that there is a bulge saying hi to me. I was still not sure because my mind could be playing tricks due to the booze I have in my system.

I just confirmed he's a guy when we're outside. When he finally stood up, his movements and back features are those of a male. Good thing though, I was not able to start hitting on him yet because it will be worse if I ended up flirting a guy. But when I felt relieved after avoiding a much worse scenario, I need to make some explaining. My insensitivity hurt a random stranger's feeling and that's not correct.