Huh. Two years have passed since I last updated this story, since I last logged on to this website. In those two years my life fell apart, I attempted suicide, and survived to tell the tale. Now I'm not saying this as some excuse or whatever, I just never mentioned this part of my life to anyone. The only people who know what happened that day almost two years ago are the paramedics, an old friend I don't talk to anymore, my parents, and myself. I never told anyone else what happened because I was ashamed, I was feeling alone and isolated from the rest of the world; I was going through life with severe depression.
I've gotten back up from that incident. Went to therapy, got professional help, moved back in with my family for support, and got a job. Haven't mustered up the courage to go back to school again and go through all that stress, but it should be better knowing I have a loving family supporting me. My mom has never really pressed me for details on why I did what I did, and I'm very grateful for that. I felt like the world had collapsed on me, and that my only way out was through death.
Trying to balance college, a job, and a life got extremely difficult, and seeing how everyone else seemed to be doing just fine made me feel like a failure. I wouldn't sleep because I always had something due, wouldn't go out with friends because I always had work, and wouldn't eat cause I never felt like I had the time or the money to do so. I started losing friends and isolating myself, I'd never felt so desperate, so alone. I met a guy who gave me the time of day, who made me forget about my responsibilities. I started drinking, a lot. My grades started failing, I got fired from my job, and the only person who seemed to care was the one pulling me down.
I dropped out of college after I attempted suicide. I hadn't talked to my mom in months, and when I finally got in touch with her it was through the hospital staff because she was my emergency contact. On January of 2017 I moved back in with her. I got a job at a museum and tried taking it easy for a while. I still go to therapy twice a month, but I'm much better now. I've made new friends through work that I really value and love. I met the man of my dreams that somehow loves me back, even with my anxiety attacks and depression. I even moved to my own little apartment (with my dad cause i still need that supervision, but it's still a big accomplishment for me.). One day I will go back to college and finish pursuing a career of my choice, but for now I'm happy with what I have. A job I enjoy, people that care for me in a genuine way, and some free time to do things I love, like writing.
A couple of days ago I was erasing some emails and I stumbled upon one from Wattpad. Someone had left a comment on this fiction. To this day, there's still people reading this fanfiction and enjoying it. Until Dawn is undeniably my favorite video game of its genre and remembering how much time I put into researching the timeline of events, the dialogue of the game, and the different outcomes all the choices had made me really miss it. Now that I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I can pursue a hobby without feeling guilty or inefficient with my time I want to come back to this and finish what I started.
For those that would be willing to join me along the journey that is writing the second half of this fiction, I'll let you know that updates will probably very random. More than likely they will be two or three times a month, depending on my schedule. I'm very sorry about going MIA for two years. I'm also sorry for this very long chapter of what I've been going through the last two years, I just don't have that many people to talk to about what happened , so I take refuge in my writing. If you made it this far, thank you for reading this and expect a new update either Saturday or Monday evening of this week.
~your work-in-progress athor, Selena
