Please understand that this really isn't poetry or a story or anything, I just needed somwhere to write this before i turn it into a comic so i can get my thoughts straight. Enjoy my rant if you do read it.
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Lately I've been reading quite a few stories and comics and such on vampire romance. I understand how it's attracting women and such since it is, indeed, romance, but to me it's quite stupid. Even if there were vampires and such in reality, you'd just be eaten and killed (Unless you're going by Cirque du Freak, which is awesome, then you'd simply be eaten and killed by Vampaneze, not Vampires :D) and there wouldn't be anything close to sex, except maybe a bite on your neck and a few licks, but that's only because they're hungry and they want your blood.
The only way (I've discovered, there might be more creative people out there) I think this whole "Romance with a blood sucking creature" thing is going to work is if it goes down like this:
*vampire boy sneaks into room at night, helpless girl victim still sleeping, vampire crawls onto her bed and she wakes*
"Ack!!! Who are you, what're you doing in my house?!" girl victim screams, kicking punching and throwing her pillow at this poor hungry vampire. After Vampire gains control and pins her to the bed, he say, "Girl, I've come to eat your blood, now stop squirming and let me bite you."
At this point it could go two ways, the twi-lovers, and the twi-haters. For the twi-lovers, the following girl victim dialogue would be along the lines of:
"Oh yay hot vampire boy, bite away then make love to me!"
And for the haters...:
"Oh god, it's one of those twilight freaks, get out of my house i'm going to call the police.
And for the people who probably never read Twilight (I know, i said two, I just thought of this though) It would go like:
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And there'd be more thrashing.
I'm not hating, by the way, it's just how I see it going down. Hey, you can read Twilight and not become an Edward/Jacob enthusias/hater, I just haven't met one yet.
Anyways, after those three possibilities, the vampire would probably say something like:
"Shaddup" Then he'd bite her neck open, and at that very moment, he'd pull back with an astonished look on his face and he gasp out "Your.... your blood..... It tastes..... TERRIBLE!!!!" And he'd proceed to get sick all over the floor.
AFTER realizing your blood is undrinkeable, he might, and I mean MIGHT, realize that you are the only human woman who he will not chow down on and he might, MIGHT, find that amazingly attractive cause now he can brag to his other vampire buddies that he has a human girlfriend who will die before he does (If you go by Cirque du Freak) and who he will most likely forget about after about 50 years from her funeral.
And even IF that happened in real life, would you really like it if you were dating a guy who practically NEVER AGED? I mean, YOUR friends would think you've turned into a freaking pedophile, and HIS friends would probably be saying things like:
"Oh ew she looks, like, 230 years old, she's all wrinkly!" And he'd probably leave you if he only did this for your looks, which most girls who'd fantasize about this would probably imagine they'd be beautifuk (which you could be, hey, i've never seen you before) But would YOU really like to be in love with someone who looks like they could be your grandma? I don't think I would. I mean, hey you/vampire guy could be all about personality, but when has anyone ever found someone really like that who could fit "Edward's description" of being a pale, creepy, stalker vampire who's face looks slightly dented and who isn't that buff at all... mmmm.... sexy..... (sarcasam)
And I know, most of you people who enjoy writing your perverted stories of hentai, yaoi, or maybe even yuri, you like the idea of having a pushy, bitey, sex-loving little blood-sucking leech who like raping/"surprise sexing" their partner and nomming on their necks and gulping down the blood, but that partner would die in four minutes. It might take longer if their lucky. Oh, hey I just thought of another possible reason! (Well, more like impossible unless you bring in the idea of magical beings, and hey, vampires are already in here, so why not throw in more crap!)
Second possibility:
If the victim had unlimited blood. That Vampire must be a very lucky undead man! Now he gets to nom on someone who will NEVER DIE FROM BLOODLOSS! Hey, if you magically get this ability, you should give some to the blood bank, since it won't do much to you. You'd be like a walking sack of money for that bank! Do some good with your powers, you selfish jerks! (Just kidding, I love you all)
Well I guess that's all the possibilities for today. I might rant again. Maybe. Probably not. I only did this because i forgot my tablet at my mom's house and such so I couldn't draw out my ideas. Yet. When/If i draw it I'll give you a link or something. <3
