public diary i guess

dawn of the first day (not really) 2/13/18

it's about 3 am and i have school in less than 6 hours but i can't sleep. i've tried listening to relaxing music, drinking water, exercising, etc. nothing has worked so far. my old fanfic acct was hey-i-enjoy-smiles (or something like that it was freshman year idk) but i never finished that story of levy and gajeel. i'll explain why.
i was in love. madly in love, actually. i related to the fan fics i previously had read about levy and gajeel. decided to make some chapters during this loving time.
it was a long distance relationship and it took its toll on me along with several other things that had happened during that period. i started experimenting with the hallucinogenic drug shrooms (lol) a little and i was smoking a lot of weed. it was all i was focused on was just getting stoned all the time. i smoked before school, did edibles at school. it was just bad.
i was trying to escape
i just lost love for that person and for myself
i'm slowly regaining that self love but i just wanted you guys to know i'm not dead. just can't write anymore about love or what i think it is. at least for now. i hope you guys enjoyed what bit i gave you. it made me happy to see so many people saw it and actually liked it. it's just hard to finish the story right now..

-ciao