Hard To Get

I Like You

-Damien-

Over the course of the next two weeks, Jacob and I spent a lot of time together. Thanksgiving break came and went, and Christmas break was right around the corner. Whether it was just hanging out after school watching movies or playing videogames, I didn't care so long as I got to see him. He had become apart of everyday life for me, something that I had never really allowed to happen.

It was no longer about the bet. Now, it was just about him.

One afternoon, we were laying on my bed, watching a movie. We had been laughing about the silly actions of some of the characters just a few moments before, and suddenly allowed ourselves to fall silent. Even so, I tentatively put an arm around his waist. He tensed up slightly, turning to look at me.

"May I?" I asked.

He sighed softly and moved closer to me, allowing me to wrap my arms around him, "Okay."

"If you don't want me to, I won't," I said into his ear. He shivered, and I smiled faintly, happy that I could affect him at least a little bit.

I had been trying to find cracks in his carefully-constructed walls. I wanted him to let me in but I understood that forcing my way into his life wasn't the best idea. Instead, I slowly entered, allowing him to get comfortable before go in anymore. There had been a time when I had wondered if he even saw me as a romantic interest, but I shoved those thoughts away. He said nothing to make me believe he didn't.

"No," he murmured, "It's okay."

I smiled faintly, gently pulling him closer. "Jacob?" I closed my eyes happily. "Will you go out with me?"

He chuckled softly, "You're going to keep asking until I say yes, aren't you?"

"Absolutely," I responded, opening my eyes and wiggling my eyebrows at him. "Or until I die."

He laughed softly, leaning against me. "I like you, Damien. I like you a lot."

"So you'll go out with me?" I asked hopefully.

He got a pained look on his face, sighing softly, "Damien..." He reached over and paused the movie, sitting up and looking at me. "Damien, can we talk for a second?"

"Of course," I frowned, confused.

"Damien, I really like you. I've actually really liked you for a long time," he explained, avoiding my gaze, "It's just... There are things - things I can't talk about. Things about me that..." He sighed, having trouble finding the words. After a moment, he looked me straight in the eyes. "Damien, there are parts of me that are broken, possibly beyond repair. It wouldn't be fair to you for me to expect you to put up with that. I don't know how to let people in. I'm working on it, but it's not easy. And a relationship... That requires me to let you in."

I took his hand, entwining my fingers with his. "I'm willing to wait as long as you need."

He shook his head, "I don't think it's that simple."

After that, we sat in silence for a few moments. I pulled him into my arms after that, wanting so badly to ask him what had happened to him, who had hurt him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him and make it so he would never hurt again. Even so, I agreed to give him his space. But I also made it clear that I would be there for him, and that I had every intention of dating him if and when he was ready.

-Jacob-

Time passed as Damien and I grew closer. He became one of my best friends, someone I felt comfortable around. I trusted him more than I did even Koby, though I still didn't want him to know I was the son of the crazy next door neighbor. Koby pestered me about that very often.

"You have to tell him eventually," Koby chided one day after school. "Especially since y'all have been practically dating for a while now."

"We aren't dating, Kob," I responded.

Koby rolled his eyes, "You might as well be. You spend every day together."

I shrugged, "I'm not ready to tell him." That would cause him to ask too many questions.

"So you're just going to keep having him drop you off at my house, only to have to hike all the way back to the house literally next door to his?" Koby raised his eyebrows.

"It's fine," I sighed. "Don't worry so much. I'll tell him eventually."

"When are you two just going to make it official, anyway?" Koby asked, "You two have been not-quite-dating for a long time."

I shrugged, "Do we have to make it official? I like things the way they are now."

"Depends, do you want to have a future with him?" Koby raised an eyebrow.

I thought long and hard about this question. Did I want a future with him? I guess I did.

"What will change when y'all start dating? You'll go on dates? You already hang out almost every day," Koby pointed out. I sighed softly, not sure what to think anymore. Should I maintain my distance from him? Or should I give in and just accept his offer? He was kind and gentle with me, even though he had no reason to be.

What was I to him? Why would he care about someone like me? I wasn't worth it. My own father didn't even love me, and he was one of the two people who should have no matter what. So what was wrong with me?

I hugged my arms around my body, groaning softly.

"I'm sorry," Koby exclaimed, seeing my expression, "I didn't mean to upset you!"

I shook my head, "No, you didn't. Hey, I'm going to head home, okay? I have a lot of homework."

"It's Christmas break! You have two weeks to do homework! Why start now?" Koby asked, laughing.

I forced a smile, "If I finish now, I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the break!"

"Fair enough, be safe," Koby left then.

I sighed softly, headed towards the bus stop. I was sure to text Damien to make sure he didn't wait up for me.

Hey, I'm headed home to get some schoolwork done. Meet up later?

A few moments later, he answered, Ok. See U.

I smiled faintly and boarded the bus.