The Worst Kind of Darkness

Breakfast

She kept  walking through the cold metal halls. With her eyes focused on the walls making sure she knew where she was going, it had become a habit, looking for the sign. Honestly she had lived there for 5 years and still couldn't find the cafeteria without a sign. After a little while of concentration Grace found the almost empty cafeteria. Connor was sitting alone at a table eating a hearty breakfast while cleaning his most prized possession, his sword. Grace stood at the door for a moment, debating whether or not to go in, when he looked up. His ice cold blue eyes stared at her for a moment before waving at her to come over. She trembled under his glare, but straightened. She had made a decision and she had to stick with it. She sat down next to him and smiled warily. She really wished he would put that sword away.

    "H-hi Connor." She mumbled. He put the cleaning rag down and sighed.

    "Jeez Gray, how many times do I have to tell you to stop mumbling." He grumbled his eyes focused on his food.

    "Sorry. I keep forgetting." She stared at the floor. He rolled his eyes.

    "Grace, you need to stop being so weak. Stand up for yourself and your words. You're already the weakest on the battlefield. You don't want to lose the power of your voice too."  He said as he shoveled more food into his mouth.

    "Sorry again." She said meekly as he swallowed the large amount of food in his mouth.

    "There you go again, talking like you have no voice. What are you even doing down here so early? I thought you hated getting up at a reasonable hour." He asked as more food got stuffed in his face. She gulped, Butterflies in her stomach fluttering around in a storm. It was now or never, she had to tell someone.

    "I had a nightmare." Connor choked on the food in his mouth.

    "Do you mean-" His eyes were wide with fear.

    "Yes, Connor I'm scared." She felt like sobbing. He put an hand on her shoulder to calm her down. It didn't really work.

    "Oh god, With good reason to be! How long? Have you seen it before? Jeez Grace! Why didn't you tell anyone?" He yelled, his hand no longer gentle. A iron grip was forcing her to stay seated. Grace felt tears trickled down her cheeks.

    "I'm sorry, It has happened before, the past few nights. I wanted to tell you or Katie but then-. I was worried bad things would come for you both. I can't lose anyone else Connor! You know how that feels. I was 9! 9, Connor and I lost my entire life because I opened my big fat mouth! You wanna know why I haven't said much in a while? Because I'm scared! Not for me, for everyone who gets close to me." She was practically screaming now with tears streaming on her face. So much had built up to this moment and now it was over, she could calm down. Grace collapsed into a heap with her head in her hands, hands that were wet with her tears. Connor pulled her into a hug as she sobbed. It didn't feel natural, it seemed so wrong. The new Connor didn't hug people. It was a privilege to say the least. She sat there for a couple minutes letting all the emotions drain out of her. She felt like all of her strength had left, and her brother's walls were softening too. Pretty soon she stood up and hugged her brother back.

"Thanks Connor. I-I really needed that. I'm sorry to bother you. I'll let you get back to your breakfast." She was done crying now and she thought she should probably let Connor get back to his training. As she made to get up he grabbed her arm and pulled her down again.

    "Really? Gray if you saw the shadow king I think you need to tell Katie. Plus I heard from Benny that Charlie's coming back later today. He needs more supplies." Grace nodded slowly. It kind of hurt that her eldest sibling wasn't even going to come back for them. He only needed supplies. Still, she agreed. Connor stood up and strapped his sword to his waist.

    "Lets go." He announced, as people began to pour into the hall around them. "I think you should probably see Benny to make sure you're okay after those nightmares. I dunno. You probably should tell him what happened anyways." He started walking towards the exit and Grace had to run to keep up.

    "What's with the sudden change of behavior. I thought that if you saw me cry you would tell me to toughen up or yell at me or something. And you Hugged me. You haven't done that in ages." He gave her a sad look.

    "Do you really think I would do that?" He frowned.

    "You do tell me to toughen up a lot. And you like to slap me when I show weakness." She murmured not meeting his eyes.

    "I'm sorry. I honestly don't know why I do that. I just don't think it's really good to be weak. You know how I felt after-" He stopped and swallowed. "After dad died. I just think, well maybe if I'd have been there. I don't know. Why am I telling you this again?" He said, she could feel his gaze burning into her head.

    "Connor you're gonna kill yourself thinking like that. Also, I don't know. You just sorta started talking." She mumbled. Feeling his eye roll without even looking up.

    "Jesus christ. Stop mumbling for God's sake! It's getting old. Where the heck is that annoying little girl who would loudly express her opinions to the world?" Grace felt her eyes burn.

    "That girl died with dad." She said loud and clear.