"This place reminded him of a lot of things"
I don't blame him,
He has a wandering mind and a minefield of dreams that I couldn't keep up with.
He had a past,
A shaky hand that still longed for the familiar he used to hold between his fingers,
Used to ever so gently protect.
He got bored easily and ran fast when it came time to commit,
But these things happen, always have, always will, no one can stop his demeanor his tenacity for living in the moment.
Why should he let his walls completely down and end up with complications due to miscommunication that the unknown offered.
He was a little boy going from toy to toy but still longed for an ideal that he could not even describe.
Her hands were not mine,
Her eyes a different tinge,
Her aspirations big and wide completely different than mine,
But his mind still painted me in her shade,
Her shadow,
Hoping I would fit into the mold that I didn't have a desire to fit in.
My own skin compared to a woman that was just effortlessly apart of him,
Due to experiences that I wasn't even thought of,
When thrown into the sidelines,
Forced to sit on the bench not even seeing the field.
I couldn't help but sympathize in those appeals.
I should hate him for putting me in a position that a game play could not fix.
I should hate him for allowing his hands to crawl upon my skin.
I should hate him for the fumbling emotions that I couldn't help but mix.
Fucked up from dysfunction, crawling back to health from numbness, He chased but never stayed.
Loved but never hard enough to feel.
Played on the playground but never late enough to see the dark moon reminding him that he had a curfew.
I don't blame him.
I blame the circumstances,
The ideal definition of what a relationship has to align to be "recognizable" to those good times that came into his memory from time to time,
Basing his experiences than ending missing his mistake in the long run,
If only I was it,
So I walked to that place this last time without him,
It was nice, welcoming, carried his scent,
I couldn't help but blame him for even showing me this place,
Because my heart was being scattered among it's foundation that was once built,
Together,
You and her,
How can I compete?
Tell me I really want to know,
But I should go,
I'm interfering,
Just one more question before I end up teetering,
Will you ever find that ideal perfection you crave?
And if you do,
I hope you are happy,
I don't blame you,
Maybe I should.
