Crush Imagines!

depression (VERY LONG, PART ONE)

WARNING. THIS STORY MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE. IF SELF-HARM, SELF-HATE, ECT. TRIGGERS YOU, PLEASE WAIT UNTIL MY NEXT UPDATE. THERE IS ALSO BAD LANGUAGE, SO PLEASE PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IS YOU AREN'T OLD ENOUGH, AND I KNOW YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME BUT AT LEAST I TRIED, RIGHT? THIS IS ALSO VERY LONG, YOU DON"T HAVE TO READ THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE THAT LOOOOOOVE TO READ. 

C/N. Oh, C/N. Just a friend. It's what he always says. "Oh Y/N, I love being your friend."

it hurts me every time he says that. I can't stand being called that. Being stuck in the friend zone. It kind of makes me wanna... hurt myself. I always feel like I am not good enough for anyone because of the way I look. C/N always talks to pretty girls, they are all skinny. And here I am. A fat slug. I will never love myself. 

Time passes and I have self-harmed. I can't stop. I know I need help now before it gets worse. 

I start to wear long sleeves everyday so nobody notices. I am running out of them, and I haven't done laundry. I wear a mid length sleeve, but it isn't good enough to hide the scars on my wrists. I don't worry because I have makeup, and I know how to apply it so you won't notice. 

I get to class today, and my first subject is physical eduacation. SHOOT!! I forgot we were doing swimming today. The first thing that comes to mind is the makeup on my wrists. It will come off and the scars will expose themselves. 

I get into the water, and as soon as I get out, the makeup starts to run. I have nothing else to do, but to keep pulling my sleeves over the scars. My next class is with C/N. He sits next to me and always makes jokes. It gets my mind off of things and just makes me feel way better. 

I get to class and see C/N sitting in his seat. I sit in mine and we talk for a while. As I am talking to him, he stares at me... but not at me... but my wrists. I forgot to keep pulling them up. So I just exposed them. Without wanting to. He ignores me for the rest of the class like I scared him away. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me so I don't cause him problems. Damn it. At the end of the class, I ignore him as well. I don't even wait for him so we can walk to lunch together. I just walk as fast as I can to go cry in the girls restroom. 

You already feel a tear coming down your face so you run. You hear footsteps behind you, going the same pace as you. You turn and see C/N. He yells 

"Y/N!!! WAIT UP!!!"

He grabs your harmed wrist carefully. He grabs them and says 

"Y/N... what have you been up to? I'm sorry I ignored you all class.... I didn't know how to react. Do you need help? What's been going on." he says with a worried face. 

"I'm fine, C/N. Leave me the fuck alone will you?" you tell him, instantly regretting what you told him. 

He sheds a tear. You feel even worse and run to the restrooms. He chases after you and stops once you enter the girls restroom. He shouts through the door, 

"Y/N! I want you to talk to me and trust me. Please come out." You don't come out. You stay there, for the whole lunch and part of your last class. 

C/N's P.O.V 

I wait for Y/N for so long and nothing. I don't want to leave because then she will really think I don't care about her. The bell for class rings, and I need to get going. I go to the restroom and hide from all the the teachers so they don't see me and send me to class. I stay real close to the boys restroom door, just so I can hear when hers opens (our bathroom is right in front.) I wait and wait and nothing.

What could she be doing? I step out of the boys restroom to wait out there one more time.

Your P.O.V