The Woman With the Wedding Ring

Your Girlfriend Was Crazy, Right?

Caden:

What the hell was that?  There was no reaction to the pinch on the ass!  I was expecting a parting rant to enjoy!

What a let down, I shook my head as I went back inside and let the door shut after me.  It only took a few seconds, but soon enough I could hear bickering coming from the kitchen.  I’d learnt from experience that shit went down in the kitchen, and when shit went down I did not want to be around.  I crept past the kitchen door as quietly as I could and went up the stairs with my breath held – the old woman had ears like a bat, and I was not getting involved in any of my folks’ shit – until I made it to the safety of my room.

The second my door was open, my nose was assaulted with various perfumes.  Scarlett’s, Mischa’s and even Willow’s seemed to swirl around in the trapped air; a concoction of evidence that smelt so much more enticing mixed together than it did as three single scents.  For a second the idea of getting Scarlett, Mischa and Willow into bed at the same time crossed my mind before I remembered a rather crucial flaw in my plan.

Willow was an icy bitch; there was no way she’d be game for it.

“What a kill joy.” I grumbled as I raked around the room for what I was looking for.  There was obviously something wrong with Willow – in the head, like – and there was only one guy to go to for advice on how to get a crazy bird into bed with you.

Rollo Jenkins.

“Found you!” I hissed as I leant over my bed and grabbed my phone, quickly firing off a text to Rollo telling him to meet me down the pub.  Knowing Jenkins though, he was probably already there.  I looked around lazily; I was only going to meet Jenkins, it wasn’t like he guy had a dress code for meetings.

The only sort of meeting he attended was for more skag.

So I doubted that he was going to give a shit what I was wearing.  I took my blazer off though and shrugged a hoody on before going back out into the hall, and straight into Aed.

“Watch where you’re goin’.” I grumbled and Aed glowered at me.

“You were the one who walked into me!” He snapped and I ruffled his hair to get him to duck out of my way.

“You were the one walking past my door!  That makes it your fault.” I disagreed and he scowled at me.

“It’s a miracle you get laid.” Aed muttered irritably as he moved out of my way and I smirked at him.

“If that’s a miracle, just call me God, little brother!” I chuckled as I moved into the hall, shutting my door after myself in case Aed was in the mood for snooping for things girls had left behind.  I swear to God, Mischa had left underwear behind before – if it was an accident or some attempt to keep her on my mind, I didn’t know – and they had mysteriously vanished when I was out.

I was pretty sure Aed was using the leftovers of my shags to compensate for the lack of his own.

How was I related to someone who couldn’t get themselves a girlfriend?  How was it that I shared the same basic DNA as Aed, and yet he was a complete failure at anything that existed in the real world?  He was probably adopted.

Or maybe I was adopted, I mused as I headed down towards the pub.

My mind seemed to switch back onto Channel Willow as I walked down the darkened streets, the bright yellow light from the street lamps making my eyes ache as they adjusted, but I couldn’t get any sort of order to my thoughts.  She was definitely weird about food, that was a no brainer, but she was bitter and rude but oddly polite at the same time.