Leaving my heart behind

Chapter 10. OMJ Bella Swan is in my head!

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, Twilight owns my soul, me? I’m just the girl who wants so badly to own the Cullen’s and their world, but has to settle for obsessive fan-fictions. I love you guys. Enjoy the chapter. :)

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I PRESSED my lips together and refused to talk.

‘Bella.’ Sanya said quietly, this time in her head, but it was an acknowledgement, not a question, and I mashed my lips further tighter. Great. I groaned internally as her mind went over everything that had happened since I’d arrived, and against my will, my mind automatically filled in the details.

Yes, there were minute gaps in our internal conversation. But I could not control them yet, and so she heard everything I thought.

Sigh. Why me? Aah... No... No! Everything hit me full force.

Oh no. Oh, no no no no no. This could NOT be happening. It wasn’t supposed to. I was supposed to be home, Edward was supposed to be home, I was supposed to be in his arms, talking, and maybe going to see Esme, then come back to make Charlie’s dinner, and then sleep in Edward’s arms – which was without a doubt my favorite place to be. Come on. Come on. A tear dripped down my cheek, and my heart cracked further.

“Bella?” Once again, it wasn’t a question she was asking, because she already knew the answer. She was just waiting for my confirmation – and even though I refused to give it, my mind could not. We could read each others thoughts, unfortunately.

She didn’t want to admit that it was me, which surprised me. Shouldn’t she be super happy? Because, for some reason, she loved me? Maybe she didn’t want to get her hopes up, or maybe she didn’t want to be crazy. She tried to find ways around the truth, but her mind did not let her ignore the pain I had felt, and so, she had felt, and how real that had been.

THAT can’t be fake now, can it...? She thought.

Disbelief filled her, but she gasped.

“It IS you. Bella. Bella! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Bella Swan is in my head! Bella Swan is... I wish I could faint. I’ve always wanted to faint. It’d be cool. Like dying temporarily. If this was a movie, I would faint now. Oh my gosh, I’m blabbering now, aren’t I? I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say. This is so cool... but so... Oh, Bella, I’m sorry! I’m so, so, sorry!”

I held up my hand, and she stopped immediately, holding her breath as she waited for the first words she would hear me speak when she knew I was Bella. I breathed in and out for her.

“Um, hey, Sanya. She knows my name! Of course I know your name. I have spent the last day or so.... in... you. Right. Sorry. I didn’t realize it was... I mean, YOU... No, it’s okay. I can barely come to terms with this myself. I... I love you. Oh my gosh, you don’t know who I am! I can’t believe I just said that! No, no, stop. I’m... an ordinary person. I think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else. I’m flattered, but... I mean, I’m no-one. I’m just a student at Forks High in Forks. Is this a prank? I don’t know. But, I’m no-one special, I swear.”

“Or not.” She sighed. “Bella, there’s something you have to know. You’re kind of...” She hesitated.

“Yes?”

“How do I explain this? Well, you know how you said, or thought, before that you had no reminders of Edward?”

I clenched my teeth, and shook off her apology. She couldn't possibly know... Ouch. I had forgotten how much his name hurt when he wasn’t there. Sanya mumbled an apology again, and I replied in the affirmative in response to her question.

I was surprised she knew that I had thought that, though. Right, she had heard my thoughts, so she knew what I had been thinking while I had... burned. It was hard to get used to, after Edward, and Aro... Still, I was surprised she remembered.

Wait. She had heard. She had heard everything...

Including the pain. She felt the pain. I wanted to slap myself for hurting her, for burning her, but Sanya didn’t like that. She clenched her teeth and her fists, her heart fast, her thoughts racing along so fast I couldn’t keep up.

That’s the point. I heard.

“I have no reminders of... him?” I prompted, stumbling over his name. She sighed.

“Well, that’s not entirely true.”

My heart skipped a beat.

“What do you mean?” I asked, painfully curious.

“You have reminders of him everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. He’s pretty popular, especially with me.” She said slowly, as if she was trying to pick her words carefully. It was like she was treading over a minefield, and that scared me. What could be so bad?

You don’t understand. It could be very bad. Maybe I am treading a minefield, Bella. I did not fail to notice that she had stopped calling me Bella-Voice. She knew. That gave an odd stab in my stomach. It’s called protectiveness, though I can’t figure out why you feel it for me. Anyway, I just have to figure out how to not blow them up. I am choosing my words carefully. This is important, and this is highly explosive. You won’t like it.

Of course, you may also hate it fiercely and reject everything, or go into shock. That’s... that’s not good, considering everything that you’ve just been through. I know you are good with weird, but this is all very complicated, probably even more so than we understand. We... She liked that, she liked referring to us as one thing... We are treading on a minefield every day from now on, Bella.

“What?” I sighed, thoroughly confused.

“You’re kind of...” She hesitated on the same sentence again, and fear built up in my stomach. I didn’t like the way she spoke, like a hunter approaching an animal before delivering the death blow.

Like James, and Laurent.

I shuddered.

No, no, it’s not like that... much...

Did I really want to know this? I left the decision to that up to her by keeping quiet and waiting for her to speak.

“I’m so sorry.” She said softly, kindly, sympathetically, and I cringed.

“I’m kind of...” I tried, and she inhaled sharply.

I’m so sorry, Bella. I know this is hard.

Just say it.

She put her hands up like a victim with guns trained on him, and spoke tenderly, with exaggerated slowness. I heard the fear in her voice, but it was soon replaced my mine.

“You’re kind of... fiction.”

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Short chappie! #causesometimesIwantoendthestoryatacoolplace heh. So... Bella finally found out! How will she react? Keep reading to find out!

I have a feeling things are getting to Level 1 of interesting. There are many more levels, much more interest building up, many chapters that are packed with action, and love, and pain, so keep reading! Comment, like, add, favorite, follow! Love you all <3 Let me know how you feel about the chapter or anything else in the story be-LOW! By the way, Twi-Hards, I’m happy to say that Carlisle is paying us a visit soon! Yay!

 Till next time my little munchkins. <3

Xox