Secrets

A day to remember

It happened during the month of February, the day after valentines. We were sitting around the table in third period, always talking about random things. Usually most of us zone out by listening to music or thinking else where.

"If I was told I was dying I wouldn't care about school. My grades would drop a lot." Some girl at the table said.

"I've been told to kill myself so many times by my brother...sometimes I feel like actually doing it sometimes." A girl sitting vertically from me said.

It was quiet for a few moments. It was boring. I started my music and about four songs in I looked up and saw the girl crying. I paused my music without her noticing and listened to her conversation.

"My mom may not be the best my in the world, but if she were to die all my A's would drop to F's." She raised her glasses and wiped her face.

I turned my music back on. I didn't know her or her situation well but that doesn't mean I didn't care. Its sometimes better not thinking at all so I don't.

I sat there, staring, song after song not realizing my friend was waving me.

"Adeline! C'mon, the bell already rung." I rubbed my eyes and gathered my stuff up. The last thing I saw before I walked out was that girl who was crying. She was still sitting down, putting binder in her backpack.

* * *

I can't believe she actually did it.
No one believed her until now.

Alyssa and I were at the funeral home.
We had been here for the girl's funeral. She bled out to death. I didn't get all the details but she did it all herself.

No matter how bad my life is, never would I of wished to die or even attempt.

Ever.

After the burial, I drove us out for lunch. We got our food and sat down at a table near the window.

"I feel so bad. I didn't even know she thought about it. Much less actually do it." Alyssa kept rambling on and finally she noticed I wasn't eating.
"What's wrong?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say.

"Did you know her?"

"No. Not really. But..."

"Ad," she grabbed my arm. "You know you can tell me anything."

I sighed. "I know..."
I started to tell Alyssa about what the girl had said when school was still in session.

At the time, I didn't understand how someone could do something as to hurt so much or even hurt themselves just because they've a lot going on. I can't go without flinching when a razor is to my skin, much less actually penetrate the surface.

"Wow. Adeline, she must of been going through a lot. You didn't think to tell anyone?" She sipped her drink.

I looked down at the table. "I-I wasn't thinking."

"She did it though...and you knew about her situation. If it were me I-"

I looked up at her and she stopped talking. I shook my head. "No Alyssa, fuck you." I grabbed my keys and started out the door with her chasing after me.

"Adeline!" By this time, the whole restaurant was staring at us.

I turned around. "What? Apologizing now because you don't have a ride home?"

Her expression went from a softer version to cold and hard.

"I wouldn't of let her died, Adeline, unlike you!" She yelled that last part.

My face was red. I ran out of the restaurant and hopped in my car. Again, Alyssa was after me and I locked the doors to my car. She started banging on the window.

"Open the door!"

I started pulling out of the parking space.

"Adeline! What the hell?!"

I finally exited the parking lot, leaving Alyssa behind.