Requins

2:18-2:24 a.m. Sat. June 7

2:18 and my eye lids feel heavy

and apparently I breathe loudly.

I've cried a fair amount tonight

but I'm not quite ready

to shut my eyes

because all I'll see

is you. And once again

I'll be reminded

of how I fucked up

once again

and how

you

won't

answer

me.

/it's not my fault/

oh but it is,

and...

to desire painless living

is to wish for perfection.

and we all know that doesn't exist.

So goodnight

skinny

pale

porcelain

devil...

I hope you'll speak to me in the morning.

//if I even wake up//

((if I even fall asleep))