Darkest Light

Numb

The officer's voice fades into the distance as my knees give out and and numbness shoots from my feet over my limbs and torso until it has overtaken me entirely. I vaguely remember Edward supporting my weight as he slips the phone out of my hand and talks to the officer on the other end. When he finally hangs up, I remember him pulling me tight against his chest and the two of us sinking to the floor, me on his lap, and he just holds me and rocks me back and forth. I can't even find the strength to cry, to let it out. All I can do is stare into nothingness, unseeing and let Edward hold me. 

"I can't stay here Edward, I can't be in this house," I burst out suddenly. Everywhere I look, there are memories. Her rocking Sylus in her rocking chair, her shining blue eyes gazing at me with the love only a mother can express. 

I push against him and try to break free until he finally opens his arms and lets me loose. I scramble to my feet, still wearing nothing but a throw blanket and run. I dash out the door and break through the trees into the woods. Trees fly past me and debris stabs into my bare feet. Branches whip at my bare skin, opening small cuts on my arms and legs, but still I run. Panting breaths rip through my chest and wind stings my eyes. I don't stop until exhaustion forces me to. Eventually I drop to my knees and finally tears begin to fall. I can feel Edward close by, hovering nervously, trying to decide what he should do, but I don't care. My shoulders shake as sobs rip through me. I can't get enough oxygen into my lungs and I feel like I am suffocating. Eventually Edward comes over and kneels in front of me, looking helpless. 

"Tell me what to do Mel, how can I help?" asks Edward desperately. 

In answer, I just lean forward and bury my face in his shoulder. His arms wind around me and hold me tightly, keeping me from shattering into a million pieces. Eventually my tear ducts are empty and my breathing quiets. There is a hollowness in my chest, aching. 

"Mel?" says Edward carefully a while later. 

"She's gone Edward," I say, my voice sounds empty and hollow. 

"Let's go back to my house Mel. We can talk about it there," says Edward. I don't say anything and he obviously takes my silence for consent because he shifts his grip on me and then the trees are once again flashing past. In next to no time, we are back in his house and up in his room. He sets me on the futon, pulls on a shirt and then sits next to me, pulling me against his side. 

"What killed her Edward? How did it happen?" I ask only half sure I want to hear his answer. 

"The police said that there was an electrical short in the room she was staying in. It caused a fire that caught the drapes and then spread from there," says Edward. 

"My parent's, they died in a fire just like that," I say, but I can't muster any real suspicion. 

"I know, which makes me think it isn't an accident. Mel, will you do me a favor?" asks Edward. 

"What is it?" I ask. 

"I want you to stay here, you and Sylus. You stay here unless one of my family is with you," says Edward. 

"You think Cal..." I ask. 

"I don't know for sure, but it is too much of a coincidence that both your parents and grandmother were killed in a fire. Please, just tell me you'll stay here, at least until I know for sure," begs Edward. 

"But I have to take care of this Edward, I have to plan a funeral and take care of the house. I am still under age Edward, The state will take me away from here. I don't have anyone else, there is no one else," I tell him. 

"No, Mel. No one is taking you away. You are staying here, with me. The state will let you stay with us, Carlisle and Esme will take care of it. Alice can plan the funeral. We are going to take care of you Mel. You are my family, I will never let anything happen to you. Do you understand me?" demands Edward. 

"Yes, I understand. Will you get Sylus, I want to see him," I ask and he disappears for a second and returns with Sylus in his arms. As soon as he sees me, Sy holds out his hands and leans into my arms. I hold him against my shoulder. He fists his tiny hand in the hair at the base of my neck and just lets me hold him. Edward sits down and wraps his arms around both of us. Eventually, Sylus and I fall asleep and escape into the foggy oblivion. 

The next week is fuzzy in my memory. Alice does a spectacular job with the funeral. It is a small, quiet affair but quite a few people show up to pay their respects. I stand around, shaking hand after hand, returning hugs to those that are close. Edward is holding the sleeping Sylus. He looks so handsome in his dark suit, and with Sylus in his arms, also wearing a small suit, he is the picture of perfection. Alice is standing nearby dealing with anything that comes up. The service is short and over quickly and then my grandmother is nothing more than memories and a granite headstone. 

Two people from child welfare show up at Edward's house the day after the funeral and tell me that I am going into Foster care for a year. At that point Carlisle and Esme come bursting in and tell them in no uncertain terms, that Sylus and I are to stay there with them and if they have a problem with that, they can take it up with the mayor. The men hardly put up a fuss. Carlisle and Esme sign the guardianship papers the next day. When I come home from taking Sy for his shots that day, Edward has added a large bed and a crib to his room. That night, Alice goes back to the house and gets all of my and Sy's stuff. 

So Esme starts watching Sylus while we go to school and after school, we all take care of him. He has never been happier, but he refuses to let anyone but me or Edward put him down for the night. And most nights that first week, I put him in bed between Edward and I. 

It takes well over a month, but eventually, things settle down and we find a routine. Every day it hurts a little less and gets a little easier to breathe. But always, in the back of my head, is the suspicion of Cal's connection to my grandma's death, not that I can prove anything. So for now, I just focus on getting by, enjoying having a real family around for the first time in 6 months. The only downfall is that Edward and I are extremely limited on alone time. there is always someone around, but we deal with it and spend time together when we can. 

Then, Edward comes back from hunting on the night of December 23 and finds me up in our room, reading a book to Sylus. 

"Mel..." says Edward when he walks in and I look up. 

"What's up?" I ask. 

"Will you go out with me tomorrow night, on a date, just the two of us?" he asks, sitting next to me and leaning in to kiss Sylus on the top of the head. 

"Of course. Where are we going?" I ask. 

"It's a surprise. Alice is already picking out your outfit and she is all set to get you gussied up for the evening. Just go with it, she is unstoppable when it comes to fashion," shrugs Edward. 

"Okay, I'll suffer through. Who is watching Sylus?" I ask. 

"Who wouldn't watch Sylus. I can already hear them fighting over who gets to hold him first," says Edward, rolling his golden eyes. 

"Well alright then, I guess its a date."