Darkest Light

Will It Work

A week later we file off of the airplane along with 100 other passengers, our clothes wrinkled and my body stiff. It takes about 30 seconds to spot my new family waiting for us. Carlisle is standing next to Esme, his arms around her waist. Emmett and Rose are close by. Rose is shooting Alice looks of envy and it isn't hard to see why. Alice is cradling a giggling Sylus in her arms as Jasper makes faces at him. I start shoving through the crowd trying to reach them, but Edward beats me to it. The look of pure love and adoration on his face as he lifts Sy out of Alice's arms makes it hard for me to breathe. Sy lets out a squeal of delight and buries his face in Edward's neck. I finally reach the group and Edward hands me the baby and I hold him close, glad to have him back. When Edward's arms close around us, our little family is complete. 

When I get home, I find a message next to the phone. It is from the admissions people at Juilliard confirming my audition for next week. Edward is out hunting and Sylus is up in his crib having a nap. Clutching the small note in my hand, I sink down in one of the kitchen chairs and put my head in my hands. Juilliard seems so long ago, when I wanted nothing more than to escape this place. But now I am a wife and a mother and I am supposed to be pregnant within the month. With Edwards child. None of this is conducive to the collage life. Not to mention, as soon as the baby is born, Edward is supposed to turn me. There is no way I will be able to go. 

I am surprised by the level of disappointment that swallows me. I have never been happier with my life and I wouldn't change a thing. But I have wanted to go to Juilliard since I was five years old, and until now, I hadn't really realized that I wouldn't be going, that my dream was dead. When I look up at the clock and realize what time it is, I quickly shove the note deep in a drawer before Edward gets home. I don't want him to have to worry, which I know he will. 

So to calm my emotions before Edward gets close enough to pick up on my thoughts, I sit down at our grand piano in a room at the corner of the second floor. The piano is set up so the player faces the huge glass wall, looking out at the green forest beyond. I close my eyes and run my fingers over the keys, reveling in the feeling of being back where I belong. Music flows like water from the finely tuned instrument. Several complicated harmonies weave through the simple melody, creating a conversation between my furiously moving hands. But then the song slows and calms, becoming something else, something soft and meaningful. But there are notes flowing through the music that I am not playing. One look to my left explains everything. Edward is home and his fingers are flowing over the keys in time with my own. Together we create something that one person alone could never hope to achieve...a true love song. When it is over, my hands fall tom my lap and Edward's arms wind around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest. 

"I stopped by the house. Carlisle says he is ready whenever you are," Edward tells me quietly. My stomach tightens and my breath catches. Nervousness spills into my system and I tighten my hold on Edward for just a second. 

"Okay, I am ready," I tell him, letting him go and standing up. 

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking at me as if he is trying to see right through me. 

I nod, taking a deep breath. This is what I want, what Edward wants. I can see it in his face, the longing for this to happen. I nod again, stronger this time. Edward's teeth are clenched tight as he disappears to get Sylus and then boosts me onto his back and heads toward the big house. 

For the next month Edward barely allows me out of bed, so it is from my couch that I talk to Alice about Sy's first birthday party. His birthday is the day after graduation, which I will be attending thanks to online classes and a lot of help from the Cullens. Alice pretty much has the whole thing planned out. It is a combination birthday/graduation party with just me and the cullens. 

Graduation is quick and simple. I follow Edward and Alice through the ceremony, all the time watching for any sign of Cal. It is like I can feel his gaze on me, but I don't catch so much as a hint of his cologne. When it is over, we all head back home. Alice has decorated the house and has music playing. Sylus opens his gifts and so do I. But the only gift that really registers is from Edward. It is a simple piece of paper, but when we sign and initial, Sylus is no longer an orphan. He belongs to Edward and I. Sylus Anthony Cullen. 

The next day, June 1, Carlisle draws blood for a pregnancy test. Edward paces all over the living room, unable to hold still for a single moment. I sit on the couch, watching Sylus scoot around the furniture, practically walking. It takes 15 minutes. The longest 15 minutes of my life. Finally Carlisle comes out, face completely blank. He must be deliberately keeping the answer out of his head because Edward finally stops, holding completely still, becoming a statue. I stand and walk over to Edward, wrapping my arms around his waist. He comes to life just long enough to return my embrace and then we both go motionless, waiting for Carlisle to break the news. Finally he opens his mouth and says...