Art Book 3 ✔️

So, This Is It...

So, as you all know. I said I was leaving after school on 2/16/18 correct? As in tomorrow. 

(Song is not mine. By: Joel Faviere, Titled: The War Against Ourselves.)

Where I am going is like a winter trip, a retreat, and I am goung to Trout Lake. I go to Wednesday Night Church, and they have a winter and summer retreat that they go to. It cost's $300-$500 to pay for yourself in order to go. Then, you have to bring your own money to by yourself dinner, since you get there pretty late. (You leave to camp at 6:00 P.M. and arrive at the camp at 9:00 P.M. Meaning, we stop at some restaurants, split into groups and by dinner.) 

At the place I am going to, they have no Wi-Fi and internet connection. What are you supposed to do there then? You might ask, well.. Basically you go and have fun. It is a yearly thing that the Church does, and this is my second time going. But I've only been to the winter retreat.

The last time I went, went...bad... there was a fight in my cabin with one of my cousins and a friend of ours. She was depressed, (showed her cuts) and she wanted to kill herself.. so, I started to cry and everyone who wasn't involved with the fight had to go over to the next cabin. I standed outside, crying, cold, but my brother found me as he was walking back to his cabin, actually trying to find me. So, we walked things out, and it turned out okay. BUT- when we returned to our regular church, I started to feel suicidal, I accidentally slipped that from my mouth and almost was sent away because of me... Yes, I am an Idiot.

Anyways, As I said I will not have any way to connect to internet unless we stop for dinner at the stores/restaurants. So, in that case I might just record most of the things I can and post it to YouTube. Umm, I might be able to draw, and hopefully this trip won't be as bad as the last trip.. And not so slippery either. (Every store I went to, I slipped in the road when I was walking and my legs were soaked..)

However, Editing might take long with how much shit I record and stuff. Um, I probably won't be back until next week, or the next two weeks. As said again, I have no inspiration, I killed Tony, (my oc) Iv'e been falling into the same circle of depression and hate, and I hate myself. If you didn't know, I did try to kill myself again two days ago I think.

Heck, this was on Valentine's Day too- (took the screenshot today.)

But yeah, that's what I mean. I get that I'm not important as all of you are, but I keep falling off, over and over again. Falling into the same god damn depression-hate circle. I may never get out of it, and might kill myself one day, but eh. Who care's right? 

The reason why I posted that wasn't because I was upset about my fake relationship. It was because my day was horrible. I made one of my older brothers hate me, hit my with my own shoe, and break a picture that wasn't anyone's in the house. I kept getting hit by people, people didn't want to be by me, It-It just wasn't a good day for me, and I easlily fall into depression. 

ANYWAYS, ENOUGH OF THIS DERESSION SHIT- umm, I will be recording shit, hopefully things will go good and yeah. I won't post on Wattpad when I get back, because I have no inpiration/imagination anymore. God I'm old..

So, I have no art to post today. Sorry.

So, I guess this is it for now. I won't miss you (lies.)

Goodbye, for now.. Maybe we will meet again when my heart shines bright, and I become a better person than I am now.

(Art is not mine, art is made by the original owner -that I don't know of- who is way better at creating art than me.)