Love can bring the most pain a person can feel but it brings happiness to one's heart like no other. I realized this, the time I met her.
Last night, I finally revisited my past after all these years. I was sitting in my study when I heard a knock from the door. A small figure began to creep into my study until i could make out the silhouette of my son. He got closer and closer until I could finally see his features. I kindly invited him to take a seat on my lap as I laid my book down. "Hey, what d'you need little guy?" I asked as I looked at his big wondering eyes.
"U-uh...Daddy?" he began, his little voice shaking, "Was mommy your first true love?" he asked.
My eyes widened; I was shocked by the sudden question. Even though I knew my child was quite intelligent, I didn't know he would think of such a topic. I looked at him and smiled, "Well, yes actually. Why do you ask?"
"W-well...I wanted to know how you met mommy and what she was like.." I saw his head lower and his body begin to tremble. Closing my eyes, I tried to remember as I held his body against mine softly. Many, many things have happened since the time I first met her.
Her name was Loraine, the love of my life. I caught myself falling in love with her during my second year of high school. During that moment, I knew that I finally opened my eyes and gave life a shot.
Loraine was beautiful, intelligent, funny, loving and caring; everything a man could ask for in a woman. Though we were young, we lived life to the fullest. We were only friends then but every moment spent with her felt like a breath of fresh air; like I'm becoming someone else, someone better than me.
I asked her out after our graduation and she said yes. From then on, we've stayed with each other through thick and thin. We travelled the world and went to various exotic places and enjoyed all of it. I was so happy that I finally found someone who was perfect for me. "She's the one" I often told myself.
On the 23rd of July, I finally gathered enough courage to drop the big question. Loraine and I were watching the sunset while we sat on the sandy beach in Hawaii. I looked at her and smiled as I took her hand. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I looked in her eyes warmly. "Loraine," my voice cracked so I tried again. "Loraine, you know that I love you and ever since I've met you, I've never been happier. You made me the happiest man alive and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So...Will you marry me?" She was mute for a moment as I await her answer; every muscle in my body was tense as if I'm running a marathon.
"John, I want to tell you something" she looked at the shimmering, rough floor as her eyes got wet. Knowing that she wouldn't joke around in this situation, I nodded and lowered my hands.
"What is it?" I asked, knowing that my heart has shattered but I had to be strong for her.
Loraine looked at me and began to speak, "I wanted to say yes, I really do. I love you so much and I've always loved you ever since that time you asked me out during graduation...But, I only have three years to live. I visited my doctor four days ago and I was diagnosed with breast cancer." She began to tremble and cry out and I was about to do the same.
"Loraine..." I was dumbfounded, my mouth seemed to be filled with cement that has dried out. Life ended for me at that moment and it felt like fate gave me a fatal blow to the chest. I cried out and attacked the sand beneath me. Why? Why does this have to happen to us? I kept asking myself over and over again in my head.
A moment passed and we finally cooled and returned to our hotel. After taking a bath and a moment by myself, I finally made my way to the bedroom. I found Loraine laying on the bed. Smiling, I approached her carefully, making sure that I was careful because I knew she was still not feeling well.
"Hey...", I carefully took her hand in mine. "I really, really love you and if you only have 3 years to live... then I'm willing to take the chance. I want to support you and care for you and who knows, maybe we'll find a cure for your disease. Even if I don't want to lose you, I don't care about you having that cancer. I just want you to be my wife, to start a family.. you know, have kids and such. So, if you don't mind.. will you please think about it?", I finally said. She nodded and the night went by without another word.
6 months after, we got married and had a baby boy named "Jake". He was our pride and joy and I'm happy Loraine and I shared that moment together.
On december 15, 2003, Loraine took her last breath. Even if it was 3 years, our time together went by faster than I thought. When I was standing by her gravestone, her last words rang through my head, "You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
I returned back to reality from my reminiscing as I smile softly at Jake. "Well," I sighed, "that's a story that I'll have to tell you some other time." Yawning, I said, "Oh, it's late. Let's sleep, okay?"
"Okay daddy" Jake murmured while rubbing his eyes softly before curling up in my arms. And so, another night has ended.
