Punk Isn't Romantic

Edgy greek god

Dean

I couldn't help the pang of jealousy that hit my chest as his friend pulled his eyes away from me. This was crazy; I must be delusional. I don't even know his name. Plus, my girlfriend was hanging off my arm right this second. She had been talking and I hadn't really been listening as I watched the edgy Greek god smoke by the haunted house. I had chuckled at that, of course they chose to hang out around there.

I felt sick to my stomach with the confusion of it all. To me, it seemed like those two were together, so why had he kissed me? The friend had been leaning against his chest pretty much the entire time Kate and I had been queueing, and it was just confusing me.

Plus, I had Kate to think about. I really didn't think it was fair for me to continue to date somebody when I was thinking about another person like this. How she hadn't noticed the hickeys was beyond me. 

"Babe, are you even listening to me?"

I shook the guy from my thoughts and looked over at my girlfriend. We hadn't been dating long- a little over a week, maybe? I had thought she was really attractive when she told me she liked me, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Mr. Edgy Greek God over there. It wasn't fair on her that I had kissed him the way I did, as well, or that I felt the way I did when we kissed.

"Of course." I lied to her, noticing that we were almost at the front of the queue.

It was against my morals to be a cheater and that was what I felt like, right now. Cheaters made me feel ill. Was I a cheater? Technically, she had agreed to me doing the kissing booth and he had paid for his kiss just like everyone else. Except, he was the only one who held me in his lap and stuck his tongue down my throat, leaving love bites down my neck and made me feel as if I was on cloud nine. Kate and I hadn't even kissed properly; we only ever pecked each other on the lips. I felt the guilt set in, deeper. I was an asshole. 

If I felt this way for someone else then there's no way I could let my relationship with Kate continue; that would just be selfish, to string her along when I wasn't into it anymore. I felt horrible about having to tell her, though.

Maybe I should do it before we get on the Ferris wheel?

"Come on Dean, we're next!" Kate pulled me towards the front of the queue eagerly.

I gulped nervously as the guy pulled the bar down over us. I hoped and prayed that this ride didn't last long or it was going to be a deeply uncomfortable experience for the both of us. She began to take photos as the ride began, ones of us together and ones of our feet with the carnival below. The guilt felt heavy in my stomach, like concrete, from what I was about to do. All she wanted was her cute, relationship photos on the Ferris wheel and I was about to ruin that for her. It had to be done, though.

"Look Kate, It's not you, it's me." I began in the worst way possible which made Kate's eyes snap to me with rage filling them, "I just don't think we should continue dating."

"You're kidding me! You're breaking up with me right now?" Kate yelled, which was a justified response.

"I'm really sorry."

"You really are an asshole!" She huffed, putting away her camera.

I apologised again and we sat in awkward silence until we were finally let off of the suffocating ride. She didn't even look at me before she stormed off into the crowds. That was probably fair. Everyone turned to look at me with curiosity, obviously having noticed that my 'girlfriend' just stormed away from me.

The only person I really registered looking at me was him, over by the haunted house with his 'friend' leaning against him. I felt that same pang of jealousy again and I turned away from them, not wanting to watch that anymore. I sulked off in the opposite direction of where Kate had gone, towards the car park. I was over the carnival now.

I climbed into my car and pulled off, driving home. 

I just wanted my bed after today. I turned the music up, some radio station playing the charts filling the silence of my car. I loved to sing along even though I couldn't sing. I belted out the lyrics as I drove away from the fair. It took ten minutes to drive home from school and I was home in no time; traffic wasn't too bad at this time of the day. As I pulled up in my driveway, I noticed my neighbour was cleaning his car and I sent a small wave. Once he saw me, he jogged over and I panicked.

Jeremiah had been my neighbour for absolutely forever. I had grown up with him and since he was only two years older than me, we had been somewhat friends. However, it was kind of awkward whenever we spoke (on my part, anyway) since he had been my gay awakening of sorts. Who could blame me ? He was wearing low strung basketball shorts and no shirt while he cleaned his car. I gulped, my eyes running over his muscles and sculpted chest as he jogged over to me.

"My mum wants to invite you guys round for a barbecue next Friday night." Jeremiah grinned at me, running his fingers through his slightly damp hair.

"Oh cool, yeah, I'm sure that'll be fine. I'll tell my parents." I nodded and he grinned down at me, rustling my hair.

"Great. See you kid." He winked, jogging off back to his car. I was stunned. All of our interactions went this way and every time my gay side flared up.