Broken,torn,neglected,hurting, and in pain. You see all of those words are the ones I would use to describe myself. Half the time I don't even know if I should try anymore. I thought I had friends who had my back, would do anything for me, tell me their secrets and keep mine. But, they just kinda turn on me and pretend I don't exist, like I don't matter. Everyday I go home praying my mom won't be drunk, praying my dad will finally see who she really is when she is intoxicated. But he pretends nothing is wrong and that I overreact.
My sisters on the other hand are very supportive (when they feel like it). I mean it's hard when one lives 500 miles away and has a baby and they other one works all the time. Our age difference is different, but we don't care and we get though it, it honestly doesn't bother us. We love each other and are always there for each other. Right?
Olivia told me she doesn't want any part of the drama and what's going on with me because she can't take that stress with her new baby. And Alexia, she only really talks and cares about her boyfriend Cole these days.
My whole life, I've been at it alone. I know what you're thinking "I bet there's people that are always there" but no there isn't. 40 scars up my arms, puffy eyes from crying (it's ok I have makeup that covers it) and the big one, I have the MASK. I put it on when I wake up and take it off right before bed. That's when the pillows for my tears come in. Yes I know this may sound a little to much, but no one, I mean NO ONE knows my whole story. So I think it's about time I share it. Don't you?
