He tasted the salt of her tears as she tasted his. Involuntarily, her hands reached up to hold his upon her face. Holding her cheeks, he felt the tears that dripped down his hands. He only broke the kiss for a moment to repeat what he had finally said aloud. "I love you, Ali." He whispered, giving her a peck kiss. "I really do." He kissed her again. "I always have." He said as he shook his head and kissed her again. "I know you love me too." His hands moved to her hair before she slithered out of his grip.
"No, no. We can't....we can't do this." She wiped away her tears and stepped away from him, looking down to the floor as she shook her head. "You....you sit there and I'll sit here." She led him to the chair across from the sofa, forcing him to sit down on it before she made her way to the couch, sitting on it herself. "We can't rationalize everything with sex, FP."
"This isn't about sex." He said as he finally wiped away his own tears. "This is about my heart. Our souls."
"It isn't." She tried to deny.
"It is." He put a hand on the back of his neck as he looked down. "Alice, I know you're scared. I'm scared too."
Alice scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "Scared of what?"
"The truth." FP looked back at her across from him.
"And the truth is?"
"That we gave up too soon. And we were the cause of our own pain back then." He knew he was right the moment Alice averted her eyes from his. "The truth that no matter how much time went by...neither of us received our hearts again. I've been holding yours for twenty years and you've been holding mine. I know I'm not alone in this. I see it in your eyes. I see it in your body when you're near me. Your whole attitude changes when I'm there." He watched her continue to avoid eye contact with him entirely as he resumed. "I've seen you with those Northside broads. You turn to full body eye rolls and rely on sarcastic, snarky insults as a method to cope with what you're feeling inside."
"And what am I feeling inside?" She asked with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Empty." FP received a look that could kill from the woman across from him, but he refused to let up. "I've felt that way ever since the moment you walked out on me." He looked away for a moment, but his eyes fell back to hers. "I don't blame you for leaving. I don't. But what I do blame you for is for trying to pretend like our relationship didn't mean anything to you. That it still doesn't. You and I don't have to be empty. We can be whole. Our emptiness has stemmed from the fact that neither of us have had our hearts since the day we met. And when you left...you left with mine, leaving yours behind. So we've never felt complete. And the only times we do is when we're together. Because we're finally closer to our own hearts. And I'm not gonna lie....I don't want mine back." It grew silent as he awaited her response. "So, no....This isn't about sex, Alice. This is about our completion."
"Maybe." She slightly shrugged one shoulder. "But that still doesn't negate the fact that you're still married and sleeping together is still a sin."
"Fine then..." He leaned back in the chair, feeling the cushion of it behind him. "We don't have to sleep together. Until the divorce anyway....." He rubbed his chin, feeling the need to shave, but ignoring the urge. "It's gonna be hard as hell, but I can be good at keeping my hands off of you." FP's eyes lingered for a moment and he looked her up and down with a playful smile.
She tried to seem annoyed, but soon, a tickled grin grew upon her face. "Well...if you can do it...then I can do it." She challenged.
"Oh yeah?" He wondered, sitting in a more relaxed position. "You sure about that?"
"Oh, I'm more than sure....In fact...I think you'd cave way before I would." She tapped her forefinger on her own bicep as her arms were still folded over her chest.
