My thoughts and feelings

depressed af

wuddup fuckers, its ya boii maya again.

for months it seems that my emotions have been going down hill, i feel upset 24/7 even during happy moments and i want to kill myself every time i am left with my thoughts.

i have the same fucking words swimming in my mind all the time.

worthless

freak

not normal

mental

anorexic pig

alone

unloved

over and over again, a never ending cycle.

i have ... self harmed for weeks now and in the most stupid place too, my outer thigh near the knee. it is unconvinient cuz its getting hotter where i live and i cant wear shorts without my cuts on show, i mean i would porbsbly wear them if my parents knew about me harming but they dont.

its a pain to wear skinny jeans in 25 degree heat (this is boiling for me, living in England and all) either way i rarely wear shorts, skirts or dresses becuase my legs are REALLY FUCKIN SKINNY and i hate having them on show, heck, even jeans dont cover up my boney legs yet i prefere wearing them.

i am thinking about talking to my parents about seeing a therapist and getting help but i also know that they would judge me and make me feel bad about myself even more. i dont care if you think that they wouldnt do this, but oh boy you are wrong!

imma stop ranting now and go eat some cake. 

bye bitches <3 <3 <3