Sweet Seduction

Kyle & William

I turned and ran back to my room. I had no choice, I had to stay. Who would help me? Kyle was going away. I couldn't burden him with this. My head swarmed trying to come up with ways to outsmart my parents, but they had me. I was about to start my first year of college and no real way of supporting myself. I had to stay and follow their rules. One year. If I still felt like this about Kyle, in the next year, I would do everything I could to make it up to him. In the mean time I planned to make the best use of my time, getting to know who I was and becoming more secure in my sexuality in spite of my parents.

It was going to be a long year.

~~(@)~~

William

I had a great year. I threw myself into the experience of an education abroad. I stopped sending e-mails to Kyle after a while, because it hurt too much to keep checking for a reply and getting none. Skype requests also went unanswered. My dad subtly tried to let me know how Kyle was but I changed the subject and eventually he stopped trying. I dated other guys too, and for the most part I was successful, opening myself up to the gay experience. The only caveat was that I never gave myself completely as hand jobs were as far as I would get. Somewhere in the back of my mind no matter who I was with, I still wanted to be with Kyle. Standing back in my room, the memory of what had happened felt like it took place only yesterday.

This was the room where I left my heart shattered in pieces. Now one year later, when I thought I had pieced it back together I never imagined that it would still hurt so much.

I needed a plan. Kyle and I were neighbors, we were bound to run into each other and we would be starting our sophomore year at the same local college, playing baseball for the same team. I just had to figure out what to say to him.

As it happened I did not need to plan too much. My brother Kevin and I were sitting in the diner when Kyle and a couple of our friends walked in. They were laughing and paling around so I had a good look at Kyle before they saw me.

"Williaam! My man when the fuck did you get back" I hated the way Justice dragged out my name but I have to say I missed hearing it.

"Yesterday." I said, succumbing to the fist pumps and bear hugs. Kyle hung back.

"Oh man. It's good to have you back kid." Justice threw his arm around my neck. "Irish is throwing a party tomorrow aand you have got to come man. It promises to be wiild."

"Does Irish ever throw a lame party dude?" I laughed and pushed him off me.

I looked at Kyle then. "Hey"

"Hey." He shuffled his feet. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah?" I asked nervously.

"Hey Kyle! What you eating man?" We both turned to where Justice and Shane stood at the counter.

"I got to go. I'll see you at the party tomorrow." And he walked away.

I turned around to my seat not sure what had just happened and even less sure that my legs would hold me up.

"You okay?" Kevin asked

I shrugged. "I'll meet you outside." I made my way outside and let out a breath that I did not know I was holding. I swallowed in big gulps of air. I felt sick, my stomach lurched and I doubled over the side of the diner and emptied the contents of my stomach into the street. I started when I felt a hand on my back, but it was Kevin. He rubbed my back until there was nothing left to bring up, and held me up all the way to the car.

Once we got home I closed myself in my room and the tears came. They were a whole years' worth of heartache and then some. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my dad was sitting at my desk.