After an hour or so the trailer started to warm up. Billy was his happy self again; his resilience never ceased to amaze Rita. They were putting things away when Billy saw the letter. It was from Mama.
Dear Children,
There are so many things I want to tell you and I just don't know where to begin. Most important, I need you to know how much I love you all, and wish with all my heart I could take back all the pain and suffering you have felt these past years and somehow make things right. I know there is no excuse for my neglectful ways, and yet I need you to know; the death of your father took away my very soul, I was so selfish to let that misery overtake me. I lost my faith in everything, and eventually began drinking. When Joe came to me with the proposal of marriage, he offered support and seemed to be a decent man. I could never have been more wrong about anything, and for that I am devastatingly sorry.
For the past year I have been fighting alcoholism. The less I drank, the more I began to realize the wickedness of the evil man I married. So many times I just wanted to give up. Yet during the darkest times my children kept me going. Even when I was at my lowest, my children stood by me unconditionally. Though I am undeserving of your loving kindness, I accept it, for it's the very fuel that makes me strong. Without it I would be an empty shell of a woman unable to live.
Now I must tell you of a hope that seems too good to be true. Your father may still be alive. I believe in my heart that he is, and I am determined to find him. My faith having been restored leads me now to find your father, the only man I have ever loved!
May the Lord watch over you until my return.
LOVE MAMA
Rita read the letter twice, for Billy.
"See, Rita? I told you it wasn't Mama's fault about Daddy Joe. He fooled her! He fooled her into thinking he was nice. She was so sad about Papa, she believed him! So she drank to get rid of the pain, and married Daddy Joe to take care of us while she was drunk...only it didn't work out like she thought. And then...and then it was...it was too late!" Billy squealed out after Rita read the letter the second time. "I wish I knew where Mama was so I could tell her I forgive her."
Billy's whole being seemed to be filled with admiration for Mama. As Rita watched him she felt she would be sick. The vile letter filled her with disgust. What was even worse, however, was how easily Billy had accepted it. He was willing to forgive Mama on the basis of the letter. It made Rita ill. "I need some air," she mumbled as she grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.
It was hard to believe that only yesterday she and Billy had waded in the creek like it was a summer day. Now it felt like winter with the clear and cold October night air surrounding her as she walked down by the creek. Her heart was as cold as the night. When she searched it for forgiveness for Mama there was none to be found. It was difficult for her to think heavily on the subject. On the surface it was easy to put all the blame on Mama, but, Rita knew in her heart she had to take some responsibility, after all, what had she done to stop the madness? A big "nothing."
The moon caused shadows to fall all around her in an eerie sort of way. After the few minutes it took to get over feeling sorry for herself, she suddenly became aware of the noises of the night. The only sound she was absolutely sure of was the hoot of an owl. After a moment, every sound began to frighten her. Her heart was pounding as she ran back toward the trailer, the echo of her footsteps scaring her further by sounding as if someone was following her. Was someone following her? She was not going to investigate the matter. She decided that she was just letting her imagination run wild.
