Hello, Hello?"
There was no mistaking the sleepy voice of the woman who had answered the telephone. It was Daphne. Helen had found her. Abruptly, Helen set the phone back down on the receiver, and paced back and forth in the confines of the small motel room. Should she call Nathan now? It was three o'clock in the morning, so she decided to wait a little while before she woke the whole countryside looking for him. He dropped her at the Shady Rest Motel yesterday, and before he left he scribbled nine different telephone numbers on a piece of stationary. He gave her instructions to call as soon as she found out anything.
Nervous tension plagued her, and the urge to have a drink became extreme. Her whole body ached. Her parched lips tingled with wanting. It was enough to lead her to the door, but she fought it, and after a moment of agonizing conflict the urge finally passed. This time she fought the urge to have a drink for herself: not for her kids, not for Richard, not for anyone else but her. With her back against the door she slid down and began to cry.
****
Rita woke with a start and could hear the murmur of voices outside the bedroom door. She tried to make out what they were saying, but couldn't. Finally, after turning on her side, she could hear the voices more clearly.
"What are you going to do now?" said an unfamiliar man's voice.
"I don't know," said Nathan.
"It's too bad their mother had to run off, leaving such sweet children to fend for themselves. You just say the word, Nathaniel, and I'll look after them," Nathan's mom volunteered.
Rita's heart was pounding. How could Nathan's mother say such a thing about Mama? Even though Rita agreed with her on the matter, she felt the woman had no right to judge anyone, let alone Mama, a woman she didn't even know.
"Mom," Rita heard Nathan whisper. "There is more to it than that. You might want to cut the woman some slack. Had you been in her shoes, I'm not so sure you wouldn't have done the same. It's something you'll never know unless you've been there."
"Oh Nathaniel, you're right. But, I can't help judging her, she's obviously made some terrible choices, and I am only interested in the children and their well being. I care nothing for their mother and her problems. How can I when she so heartlessly left them to fend for themselves?"
Next to Rita, Billy shot up from the bed and was out the door fast. Rita quickly followed behind him.
"Mrs. Rivers," Rita spoke for the both of them in their mother's defense. "Mama is not the best of mothers. . . and Billy and I, deep down in our hearts, we know this. But Ma'am, with all due respect, could you please keep your feelings about her to yourself. It's hard for us to hear our mama being verbally bashed as if she were the lowest scum of the earth. Although it is hard for you to understand why she did the things she did, for "our sakes" you might try to lighten up on her." Then Rita told Nathan, "We are leaving now. I feel we've worn out our welcome here."
"Oh, dear," Nathan's mother sighed heavily, "I had no idea you were listening. Had I known, I wouldn't have bad-mouthed your mother. I'm sorry. Please stay. I would never be able to forgive myself if I was to cause you to leave this house this morning." The woman got up from the recliner and in the darkness reached for Billy and Rita. "Come here children, sit, and let's talk. We should never have spoken a word about the two of you without your presence."
"Why does everyone blame Mama for looking for Papa?" Billy cried. "Mrs. Rivers, wouldn't you want to find your husband? That is, if you thought he was living?" Billy asked so innocently. "Since Papa died, Mama she ain't been the same. She turned into someone we didn't know. When Daddy Joe came home and told us Papa wasn't coming back, it was like someone took a knife and stabbed her right in the heart. And then, when Mama and Daddy Joe came home from identifying Papa, my Mama, well ma'am, she didn't talk to me for days. For days and weeks she wouldn't even look at me. 'Cause when Papa went away—" Billy was silent for moment, trying his best not to cry. Then he went on, "Well he took with him my Mama. And now that there's a chance Papa might be alive, little by little Mama's comin' back. I thought that someone such as you, Ma'am, would understand what Mama's going through. I mean, I'm only twelve and I understand perfectly! When she married Papa, she loved him more than living. And for a long time you never saw two people more in love with each other than Mama and Papa. Ain't that so, Rita?"
"Yes," Rita defended matter-of-factly.
"And something else, Mrs. Rivers. I'd much rather have Mama leave us kids to take care of ourselves, than to have spent one more second with the likes of Daddy Joe. Believe me, ma'am, if you was to only know my mama and all that she's been through, you wouldn't talk down to her, I'm sure of it!" Billy explained, meaning every word he spoke with all his loyal little heart. "Even Rita," he continued, "she's the one who has probably went through the most since Papa died, even she understands and forgives Mama. Ain't that so, Rita?"
Billy was definitely pushing it! However, Rita went along with him. "Yes," she said for his sake, and then added, "Also, Mama made Nathan promise to look after us, and so far he's done just that. He has stayed true to his word. And I'm sure Mama knew that would be the case before she left. So actually Mama didn't leave us to fend for ourselves; she left us in Nathan's care."
"Well . . . I'm ashamed. I was wrong and I apologize. I hope someday I meet the woman who has earned such high respect from her children, she must be something to have raised two of the most loyal children I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Edward, don't you agree?"
"Yes, indeed, Maria. Would someone get the lights? I don't know about anyone else, but all this talk has made me hungry."
"You're always hungry, dear," Nathan's mother said playfully. "I suppose I could fix some eggs and fried potatoes for anyone who's interested. Rita, would you care to help?"
"Okay."
The kitchen, like most of the rooms in the cottage, was quite small.
"Rita," Mrs. Rivers said as she handed the girl a few potatoes. "I have a feeling you are not being honest when you speak of your mother. Your feelings about her are not exactly what Billy had in mind, are they?" The older woman paused for a moment. "If you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, I'm here, and I'm a good listener. Having raised eight kids it goes with the territory."
"Thank you," Rita said as politely as she could, although she knew in her heart she would never be able to talk to anyone about Mama. It hurt too much to think on the subject. She just knew she couldn't bear to voice how she truly felt about it. She looked over at the woman who she had met only a few hours ago. Maria stood graciously over the wastebasket peeling potatoes. As Rita watched her, she wondered why Maria's offer to listen filled her with such a powerful dose of resentment. Maybe it was the fact that in all her life Mama had never once offered to do the same; Mama was always too busy solving her own problems to be troubled with Rita's. Anyway it would take weeks of talking before it would do any good, and as far as Rita knew, they would be leaving soon. So she concentrated hard on the task at hand, peeling potatoes, something she had never been very good at.
After breakfast Nathan tried to persuade Rita and Billy to stay with his mom while he went to help their mother. They would have no part of it. They were going with him, period.
"Rita, I wish you would reconsider," Maria pleaded. "You kids have been through so much. It's time you settle down. Nathan has no idea what your mother is up against. He doesn't have a clue as to how long this entire affair might take, and it could be very dangerous. At least here you would be in a stable environment. Please honey, at least think about having Billy stay here."
"First of all, Mrs. Rivers, I want to thank you for the offer. I appreciate it. But I am going with Nathan when he goes. My mind is set. As for Billy..."
Billy shot a worried glance in her direction.
"I appreciate your offer to keep him, as well." She had a hard time speaking because of the deep emotion she felt. "But I will not leave him. Billy goes with me."
Billy smiled happily toward her as the telephone rang. Nathan's sister picked it up. "Hello. Yes, he is. Nathan it's for you." Betsy handed him the telephone.
"Nathan here, what's up?" He stood up. "Okay, got it. I'll be there as soon as I can." When he finished speaking, he slammed the phone hard against the receiver. "If you're coming with me, we gotta go now."
