July 4, 2014
Well I've graduated 8th grade and off to high school. Earlier this year when I first started to not feel well after I ate well I stopped eating lunch because of that soon after.I got to feeling better when I didn't eat. My parents noticed and made me eat dinner though I try to only eat the tiniest portion. I've been striving toward the perfect body of 90lbs I want to see my ribs I had a start weight of 110. I want to be perfect. I only want to be 90 lbs. I've been called anorexic the last nine months.
I've became comfortable with the term "emo" in fact i embrace it. I've been trying to stop cutting for my boyfriend of over 10 months. he gets sad that I want to do that stuff to my self. I don't want him to feel that way my max days clean is 7 months even but I've been messing up latley. My parents can't find out or I'm being out in a mental institution. The inrony in this is that my parents are the main cause of my current state. They call me a whore in front of my peers. They say things like "I pray for the One Direction days to come back." I can never be happy for being myself, never good enough for anyone.
The suicide thoughts are back especally now. I'm plotting my death as I fall asleep. hang my self? Overdose, but on what? Gun to my head? I can get a gun out of the car easy. If I do decide to commit its going to be planned to perfection the notes, I will me dressed to a gothic doll almost, music, place. Everything will be perfect. Of course thats big IF.
I'm sorry I went soo long with out updating. I just felt like it was pointless then I got some comments and veiws so I thought I give u guys an update.
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The Bully Diaries: My Life, My Story, My Reality
De TodoThis is my, Victoria Blake's, real bullying story, which started two years ago(I was in 6th grade) and is still going on. It's my most accurately dated accounts on what has happened to me. All caused by three people who I am calling in this book Bra...