Lulled -Lexi's Lament

Wake

After waking up in a cold sweat, I found myself grasping at my chest. Feeling for a wound that wasn't even there... As the beads of sweat collectively dripped off of my face I realized that I was alive and well. I looked around the room searching for light, but alas there was no such encounter; however, I felt around and discovered a night stand. I instinctively reached for my glasses on my lab coat- the lab coat that served as the guard for my spectacles- and proceeded to realize that something was very off... For one, I couldn't find my lab coat, and two, I could not seem to find my glasses.... My arms reached out for the lamp, that resided upon the night stand, then proceeded to click the light on.  As the shadows dispersed, I was bombarded with the sudden realization that I was safe at home. Home? Could I be home? This wasn't my home. What was home anymore, really? This hadn't been my home in 60 years.... Let alone at this very moment in time.   


I immediately got up and walked to my mirror place diagonally from me. Once I had reached the mirror, I stared into the reflection and there was a strange young girl who stared right back at me. She had big brown eyes and a gave me a genuine smile. I stared at her, she stared back. In one single moment of understanding, I knew who she was and she knew me... She knew me deeper than I knew myself, for you see, this girl was me. She wasn't the me of now, but the me of then. Meaning that she was the me from the past, and I, the one from the present, or is it future? Regardless, this has little to do with the matter on hand which is how. How did I get here? Am I dreaming? Was the bullet wound real, am I dead? All these things raced my mind, yet, none of them made any sense.

No, I'm not dreaming. No, I'm not dead.... But again, How? Why? When? So many questions, but no one to ask them to. Why am I 17 again? Why aren't I old anymore? What happened to my friends, are they alright? Who did this to me and how do I go home? Do I even want to go home? This place, as my memory serves, was where I felt the most needed, the most wanted, the most... Loved. 
"These thoughts, these arbitrary questions, they're getting me nowhere."  I told myself, prepared for the scarring realization that I was going to go home soon, but not this home, my future home. The home of the current me, the home of my now. Yes this is all a bit confusing, I'm sure of it. It's confusing to me too....I have written this, I have read this, and more notably, I am living this... In general, I just wish to go back to my timeline. Who knows what awaits me here. 

I looked over to my right and saw that the alarm clock had a very noticeable time of 11:03PM. "I surely won't get any answers this late at night..." I resolved with myself. I knew that I'd be well-rested enough to either wake up from this Lucid nightmare or get a well-rounded start upon the upcoming days' events. Man, since when did I get that old? Tell me I wasn't that grandma.... My, that didn't sound like me very much at all; however, I chose to blame the new found rebellious state that my mind had acquired in the few minutes I have been in this era. Nevertheless, I then crawled into bed and decided to rest my weary head in preparation for whatever lies ahead of me.

I closed my eyes and imagined all the adventures I'd had, I smiled as I reflected upon my life... Long, rough, tedious, "but worth every single second." I said comfortingly to myself as I breathed out a gentle sigh. It was comforting, somehow, reminiscing on the past. Sort of soothing. Whether it was the comfort of my childhood room, or the sheer hope that this was all but a dream, I was very easily lulled into an odd sense of security; thus, I easily and blissfully slipped into a much needed slumber.