out of my mind

nine

She had been expecting this. Not now, no. She didn't expect that the girl would fall for her so quickly, so soon.

Lauren thinks, tongue in cheek, that maybe that's just how powerful her thrall is.

The raven haired girl jerks her head to the left away from the light, and gets out of bed. She is still wearing a pair of worn jeans and a Aerosmith t-shirt, her bra being cast aside with the flurry of Camila's clothing.

The room is dark, easy on her eyes since it's only a little past midnight. She lifts her legs and walks to the nearby leather armchair in the corner of the room, which is hidden from sight by closed blinds and curtains, and the wall of the hotel room on the right side.

Her body blends in well with the armchair, it's a cozy place to think, and her black hair is camouflaged with the the color of the chair, both of them shadowed by the curtains and the dark within the room.

Saying the first 'I love you' during sex. So boring, so cliche. Yet so Camila. Lauren bites her lip to keep herself from chuckling, only for the sake of not waking the girl up. Next to the leather chair are their two backpacks, the only things they took with them from their former lives.

The night is eclipsing on them now, the sliver of light vanishing from the outline of Camila's body, naked save for the sheets covering some parts of her.

Lauren thinks she sees her as she is - so easy, and so beautiful. The world must have been blessing her when Camila stumbled her way into Lauren's life, because the hardest part about controlling a person is breaking their resolve. If there's already a chink in the armor, a crumble of stones where a wall is supposed to be, Lauren's job gets much easier - less of a wrestle for power than it is an acting job.

Love is one of the easiest emotions for her to pretend to feel, after all. She's felt it once before and lost it, and once love is lost, it's so easy to put on a smile and still pretend that you're as entranced as you used to be. It just takes a special type of person to do it.

Lauren grabs her bag, reaches in and checks to see if the pills she packed are still in there, with the boxes of cigarettes, the money, and the switchblade. There's a light reading book and a map of the States as well, but those are things that can be replaced. Lauren spent an entire paycheck on the four containers of pills in her bag. She's too deep into things to lose those now.

She closes her bag tightly, making as little noise as possible despite the small murmurs of the zipper. She glances over at Camila's bag, considers opening it, but decides that for now, it's too risky. Camila is tossing and turning in her sleep, looking serene in the world that she's in, this perception of the free world that she's supposedly in.

The moon is turning away from the scene in front of it now, the clouds covering how the light has turned its eyes away from Camila's chest, rising up and down with shallow breaths. There's only crow-like darkness around them now, so dense and black that one can almost see a feather-like texture within it.

It's almost as if the moon is intentionally turning its back on Camila, the girl who once called it her best friend, and resigning her to the uncertain and convoluted paths of the future. To Lauren, it's like the darkness is giving her permission to do what she wishes. 

Even the stars, huddled behind the night fog, are just waiting to see what will happen next.