Love, a Four Letter Word

Ten Forty-Five, a twelve letter word

Ten forty-five.

A twelve letter word.

A noun.

A time of day.

The time I messed everything up. 

I stepped foot into the coffee shop that I go to everyday, mainly just to see Adele, at exactly ten fifteen.

The sound of the bell attached to the door rung as it opened and closed sending the workers the message that a customer had entered the shop. As always the strong bitter aroma of ground coffee beans drifted in the air soaking into my clothes. The usual gentle murmur of voices could be heard above the harsh churning sound of the coffee machines as it struggled to produce the hot steaming liquid beloved of the customers.

"There you are Simon," I turned around and there sat Clary in a red booth, "You're fifteen minutes late though." 

What was she talking about? 

"No I usually come here at this time."

"Well you agreed ten o'clock remember?" She looked at me like the answer was obvious. 

The event that took place the night before came flooding back in my head. I had totally forgotten about that for my mind was focused on more important stuff at that time.

She's right, I agreed. Well I sort of agreed. I had already made plans the week before to take Adele shopping downtown London. I glanced at the tiny clock that was hung on the wall, I had an hour till I needed to pick Adele up.

With a sigh I sat down on the opposite side of her. I didn't want to be rude so maybe a couple minutes won't hurt, right? 

"It's been forever since we last talked," She twiddled her spoon as she locked eyes with the table. 

I nodded keeping my eyes on the clock. As time went on I kept watching the clock, the hands seemed to slowly tick closer ad closer to the next hour. I wanted to get out of there and see Adele. I had finally made my decision on figuring out our relationship status. I had to get it off my chest. It's been keeping me up at night, I couldn't stand it anymore. 

"So are you in a relationship with anynore?" I knew that question was coming. 

My eyes locked with hers, "Not really, you?" 

Why did I say that? I mean Adele and I were sort of in a relationship, but at the same time we weren't. I didn't even care if she was in a relationship.

A slight smile crawled across her face, "No... not yet at least." 

"Oh," I nodded too focused on the time to understand to what she was trying to hint. 

The feeling on her hand bushed against mine sending chills down my spin. The tense feeling when we made eye contact made me move my hand. She looked down and opened my hand placing hers inside. 

"I miss you Simon..." her soft words came quietly out. 

I knew that wasn't what I wanted, but my hand didn't move. I lost myself again in the moment. When I looked at her I saw Adele, why did I see Adele I still have no idea to this day. Although it was Clary's, I felt Adele's warm hand in mine and her blue green eyes locked with mine. Not being able to talk, I watched as she slowly leaned closer from the other side of the table. I wish I could tell you that our lips didn't touch, but that would be a lie.

"S-Simon..." I heard a small whimper call from behind me. I opened my eyes and pulled away realizing it wasn't Adele but Clary I was kissing. 

I jumped up and turned around making eye contact with... Adele.

"Adele, it's not what it looks like it is," I pleaded in a sympathetic tone.

"Oh, it's definitely what it looks like Simon! How could you do this to me?" The tears ran down her face as the look of hurt speeded across her pale face. 

"You told me you weren't with anyone," Clary stood up and turned me around angrily.

"I-I'm not."

"What do you mean your not?" Adele asked through tears as she turned me around to face her again, "I thought we were starting to be something."

"We ar- well we aren't-" I let out a sigh and brushed my fingers through my hair, "that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I only kissed her because I thought it was you, Adele." 

"You only kissed me because you thought it was her?" Clary angrily yelled as she stood behind me.

I kept my attention on Adele, she's the only one I needed to believe me and know this was all only a mistake. 

I took slow steps towards her, "Adele, I promise..." She shook her head pushing me away.

I watched as the tears continued to fall down her cheeks in disbelief. 

The moment she ran out the door was the moment I knew I had just made a huge mistake.

She saw me kiss Clary. Why did I do that?

She had problems trusting people, and now she's not going to trust me.

There was no hope in getting her to believe me.

Just as soon as I thought I had her, she was once again gone.